That's What I'm Counting On
by Kima-Mitsura
Summary: Told in Chell's perspective, we now get to see what it may have been like if Chell hadn't been mute and if we could get an introspective look on her personality. Please play Portal 2 before reading. Gruesome stuff in Chapter 10. Finally updating again.
1. Chapter 1

That's what I'm Counting On - Chapter 1

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><p>I am well aware that there are other stories to finish. Hush. I don't care about them right now.<p>

This is a Portal story (dur) but after playing Portal 2 for the first time, I was inspired to narrate my thoughts and responses to the events in the game into a story. Give it a bit more emotional depth.

I will only say this once, if you haven't played Portal and/or Portal 2, I highly recommend you not read this until after playing. Also, none of the characters are mine. Chell only seems OOC because I apply my own thoughts and responses and kinda twist the story with some tiny changes that shouldn't affect the Portal 2 plotline too much.

Alright, got it? Good, on with the show.

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><p>"Good morning. You have been in suspension for –fifty- days. In compliance with state and federal regulations…" It was then that I chose to start ignoring the robotic alarm system. This was the third time it woke me up from…I guess you could call it stasis. I have no other term for it. The first time I woke up to this voice was startling to say the least. The last thing I remember before this "stasis" was looking at the trees beyond the Aperture Science drive-in entry. I was free, free of turrets pointing their hair-thin lasers at me before greeting me in that creepy, childish robotic voice and riddling my body with suspiciously high caliber bullets. Free from these crazy "puzzles" that had pools of deadly…waste, I will assume, and puzzles ending in a pit of <em>fire<em>. Free from that maniacal GLaDOS and her sadistic _tests_. Free from all that…for all of 20 seconds. The last thing I saw…well, heard was a robotic voice thanking me for taking the "party escort submission position". If only I had the strength to at least hobble away.

BEEP

Oh right. The wellness exercises. I looked up at the ceiling and stretched, causing my back to pop and let some stiff muscles stretch and actually move for once. You know, I never did remember volunteering for anything Aperture.

BEEP

I looked down and reached to touch my booted toes. Booted? Oh, right. I remember. These boots were in my room the second time I woke up. The robotic voice explained that the boots would keep me from landing on my head and suffering serious, serious being the operative word, injuring in a fall exceeding 500 meters. What the limits were on these boots I almost didn't want to know. What poor schmuck would have to test that?

"-Please stand in front of it." The voice said. What was I supposed to do again? Ah yes, the art. I did look at it before and it vaguely reminded me of a well-known painter. Robert? No…Bobby…Bob! Bob Ross! I remember him now. It's too bad that most people only associate him with his "happy little trees". Well his "happy little trees" could probably kick all their trees to kingdom come. Who knows, maybe this was one of his or someone else's; in any case, it was nice to look at.

BEEP

I was staring at the art, wasn't I? Then they played a tiny snippet of classical music. I always liked the sound of a harpsichord; a tiny version of a piano with a big sound, very similar but with a tinny sound rather than the delicate pings of a baby grand.

BEEP

"Good. Now please return to your bed."

I sourly obeyed the voice: laid down in bed and pulled the sheets up to rest on my chest, but I wasn't going to fall asleep just yet. There wasn't much I could do in here…or out of here for that matter, and it bothered me so much. The first time I woke up, I panicked and tried to escape: one door led to a nice little bathroom and the other led to a railing. I was still terribly rebellious and took the chance to run along the railing, until I found out the only way down was to get past a hallway of turrets. Without the Portal Gun to shoot a way past and/or make the turrets go away, I was stuck. On my way back to my room, I noticed a huge multitude of rooms and despite the appearance of light outside the walls of my own room, the entire facility seemed dark. The glow of the turrets' sights and a few very scattered lamps seemed to be the only light, probably to save energy. It was a hard thing to accept, but I couldn't go anywhere or do anything about my predicament.

I was tempted to try out the long fall boots when I'd first gotten them, but thought twice when I noticed how high up I was. Was that a small bush down there or a massive tree? I couldn't tell I was so high up. That was my first episode of vertigo in this facility and I had no inclination of intentionally doing something like that unless my life depended on it. At this moment, there was no GLaDOS, no lasers or guns, no danger whatsoever. Before drifting off to another stasis sleep, I had an inkling in the back of my mind that something was off.

That's what had me on edge when I woke up the fourth time…

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><p>The tinny and garbled wake-up music eased me out of stasis.<p>

"Good moorning. You have beeninsuspension foor nine nine nine nine nine ni-"

My eyes snapped open and darted around the uncharacteristically dark room and the voice that was, up until this point, composed and smooth was garbled and jammed with sped up and slowed down sounds and computer errors. This was not good. Not good at-

Knock knock knock knock

"Hello? Anyone in there?" An accented voice sounded from the door. I was cautious about other people. I hadn't seen one in…quite some time. Judging from the amount of times the computer said "nine", I haven't had any contact with anything in a _very_ long time. A couple more knocks. "Helloooo?"

'Only way I'll get answers.' I surmised, heading towards the doorway. Before opening, I pressed my ear to the door to hear this person better.

"Are you going to open the door? At any time?" Figuring the kindly voice wasn't going to kill me the moment I opened the door, I stepped back and grabbed the handle, pulling it open with surprising ease. When the person on the other side shouted in surprise I stepped back and stared up at…a personality core? "Ha! I knew someone was alive in here." The robotic orb said. Wait, alive? "Oh. My. God. You look terri- ummm…good. Looking good, actually." I paused and stared as the orb slid along a rail in the ceiling…did it just almost say I looked terrible? Well, it has been some time since I looked in a mirror. "Are you okay? Are you – Don't answer that. I'm absolutely sure you're fine. There's plenty of time for you to recover. Just take it slow."

"Please prepare for emergency evacuation." Oh dear, something happened while I was out.

"Stay calm! St-stay calm!" The orb stuttered, "'Prepare' - that's all they're saying. 'Prepare.' It's all fine. Alright? Don't move. I'm gonna get us out of here." This guy…orb, seemed like he meant well. He sounded nice enough, but then again GLaDOS sounded nice enough the first time I tested. Until she started introducing deadly force to "test" my abilities. "Oh. You MIGHT want to hang on to something. Word of advice, up to you."

'I'd better be cautious,' I thought, 'this thing could be a minion of hers or something.' But then again, hanging on was always a decent idea, even when GLaDOS wasn't involved. So, bolstering myself in the corner of the closet, I shifted my gaze around the room. That was when I noticed the massive person-shaped dent I'd left in the mattress. 'How long was I out?' I started to seriously consider what was wrong. I'd never heard of this orb before the personality cores that GLaDOS had and not even she had the capability to speak smooth human speech; hers was always broken and stilted. Maybe technology had made huge advancements while I was out. I wouldn't be surprised. The room then started to rattle and rock, causing the fridge door to fly open and the chair at the desk to flip onto its side.

"You alright down there? Can you hear me? Hello?" The orb asked.

"Yes." I croaked. Dear God, my throat was dry. Swallowing some saliva, I tried again, a little smoother and louder. "Yes…I…good." Stilted child-like speaking? That was bad news. I was rubbing my arms worriedly when the orb reappeared.

"Most test subjects do experience some cognitive deterioration after a few months in suspension." It said awkwardly; emoting his discomfort, "Now you've been under for…quite a lot longer, and it's not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage." Uh-oh.

"Bad." I said looking troubled up at the sphere. It paused in the middle of its sentence, something about being worried about brain damage, and answered.

"Wha-? Um yes…it is a _little_ bad, but! But, it can be fixed!" The robot nodded enthusiastically, wiggling its handles, opening and closing the panels that made its optic lids. It was very emotive for a robot. What had Aperture been up to while I was out? "Now then, why don't you try saying 'yes' for starters?"

"Y-yes." I stuttered. It was remarkably hard to speak. I knew I knew how to speak, it was just making my mouth, larynx and lungs cooperate that was the trouble.

"Very good, very good! Now, uh try…jumping a little bit." I furrowed my brows and glanced at the contraptions on my legs. I haven't tried jumping in these boots yet. I crouched down and pushed myself up, surprisingly so my fingertips could graze the ceiling. I couldn't jump that high before, even with the braces from the last round of testing, and I was proud of my success to not make a fool of myself in front of a giant, robotic eye. "Nice. Now then, say 'apple'. 'Aaaapple.'" I felt like a kindergartener in front of this guy…thing. I don't know what to call it yet.

"Aa…aap-pull." Close, but not quite. I cleared my throat and prepared to try again when an alarm went off and the orb began to glance around.

"Okay, you know what? That's close enough. Just hold on tight." It said and started retreating back into the ceiling. I took cover in my closet again and braced myself as another warning was issued.

"All reactor core safeguards are now non-functional. Please prepare for reactor core meltdown." This place was powered with a reactor core? And it's melting down? The automated system sure picked a fine time to wake me up. I heard the hiss and grind of an engine and we started moving, the room tilting and rattling as the clumsy robot crashed my crate-room into what I assumed were other crate-rooms.

"Alright, I wasn't going to mention this to you, but I am in PRETTY HOT WATER here." The robot shouted above the crashing. Dear God! The wall's broken in! "How you doing down there? You still holding on?"

'Yes, I am still holding on while my room falls to pieces in front of me. Thanks for asking.' I thought angrily. Was this robot trying to kill me in the most awkwardly helpful way possible? Well…it IS Aperture Science.

"The reserve power ran out, so of course the whole relaxation center stops waking up the bloody test subjects." The robot said in an angry tone. Well, that would explain why I was out for 'nine nine nine' amount of time. Goodness, that's a lot of crates out there. "Hold on! This is a bit tricky!" You don't need to tell me twice. Thank heavens the closet has so far been left untouched. "And of course," the robot continues, "nobody tells ME anything. Noooo. Why should they tell me anything? Why should I be kept informed about the life functions of the ten thousand bloody test subjects I'm supposed to be in charge of?" Ten thousand? That explains the sheer volume of the crate-rooms. As the room was jostled some more, I stared out and recalled how dark it had been when I last left the room and how bright it looked now. This place looked to be lit by natural light, not the synthetic fluorescent or false "day-time" lights, but actual sunlight. Goodness I missed the sun. "Oi, it's close…" the robot said apprehensively, "Can you see? Am I gonna make it through? Have I got enough space?" I looked out of both opened sides as best I could. Neither path looked promising.

"No!" I croaked, "No space! Stop!" Apparently I still knew the words, thank goodness, but the robot either couldn't hear what I said or chose to ignore it.

"Augh, just…I just gotta get it through here…" Oh if only I could wake up and find this whole Aperture thing was just a long, bad dream. That I'd be at home, suddenly jump out of bed and have my father reassure me that it was all a bad dream and then have mother's special rhubarb pancakes and pet my best companion, a dog named Cubie. Unfortunately, I don't think I had my own bed since I was a kid, besides the one with the human-sized dent in it, and GLaDOS said I was an orphan, not that I believe a word she tells me anymore, but it isn't out of the question that I _could_ be an orphan. Especially now that I've been asleep for heaven knows how long. The room crashed and banged around again, knocking me to my side inside the closet and snapping me back to the events at hand.

'Right, my room is falling apart and a spherical robot who says he's trying to help me could actually be conspiring to shake me around the room like a four year old with a goldfish in a bag of water. Perfect.' I cringed at the possibility and braced myself as we crashed again and again.

"And whose fault do you think it's going to be when the management comes down here and finds ten thousand flipping vegetables?" The robot shouted, frustrated and understandably angry at the turn of events. I do wish he'd take it easy though, if I'm guessing right, I'm one of the very few who survived being asleep for as long as I had and retaining most of my brain functions. You'd think he'd be a little gentler with a one in ten thousand chance survivor. We again crashed into another crate and this time I could see almost everything outside my room as the aesthetics crumbled away. "Aggh, see, now I hit that one, I hit that one…" He almost sounded like he was scolding himself, "Okay, listen, we should get our stories straight, alright? If anyone asks - and no one's gonna ask, don't worry - but if anyone asks, tell them as far as you know, the last time you checked, everyone looked pretty much alive. Alright? Not dead."

'Sure, you crazy bot. Who's going to ask me anyway?' I thought as we swung around and banged into a few more crates. Oh my God! That one's falling into the bottomless abyss! When am I getting off this crazy ride? We started the first smooth sailing since the crate revved into life and started moving. Sure, the room was rocking side to side, but it was smooth.

"Okay, almost there." the robot, I'm just going to call it a 'he' from now on, said reassuringly, "On the other side of that wall is one of the old testing tracks. There's a piece of equipment in there we're gonna need to get out of here." I think I know where he's going with this. "I think this is a docking station. Get ready…"

"Wait!" I shouted hoarsely, "Not a-!" But I couldn't finish my warning as he violently rammed the room into the wall. Thank goodness I was holding on; if I wasn't, I would've been flung out of the room and into the feasibly bottomless pit.

"Good news: that is NOT a docking station. So there's one mystery solved. I'm going to attempt a manual override on this wall. Could get a bit technical! Hold on!" My eyes widened drastically. Is he going to-yes, yes he is! I grabbed a pillow off of the bed, ducked into the closet and wrapped the pillow protectively around my head. It was dirty and by no means a helmet, but it this situation I had no choice. The second time he, the robot, crashed the room into the wall, it seemed harder than the first time and my body thudded heavily against the door. I hoped it was over, but once again the room rocked back.

'Not again! Please let this be a dream!' I watched with wide, scared eyes as we hurtled towards the wall again.

"Almost there! Remember: you're looking for a gun that makes holes. Not bullet holes, but - well, you'll figure it out. Really do hold on this time!" Again the room rocked far back and sped towards the wall at frightening speed. I ducked as far into the closet as I could and BANG! The room made one last violent crash into the wall and the sound of rubble falling, though faint, and the engine shutting down let me know that he was done tossing me around the facility. "Whew. There we go! Now I'll…where'd you go?" The device asked, apparently it came down from the ceiling. I got out of the closet and stared angrily at the sphere.

"Why do that?" I asked, doing my best to make sense and waving my arm in the direction of the opening in the wall he created.

"Ah, yes. Brilliant idea hiding in the closet there. Why…isn't really important. Now uh…" he said, dodging the question entirely, "I'll be honest, you are probably in no fit state to run this particular type of cognitive gauntlet. But…um…at least you're a good jumper and you can speak…a little. So…you've got that." I sighed as the orb rambled; it was clear a straight answer was difficult to come by with this…thing. "Just do your best, and I'll meet you up ahead." I nodded and walked to the edge of my room. The broken glass below me certainly couldn't hold my weight. I just hope I don't get trapped in that tiny room.

'If things go smoothly,' I thought, 'I should have the portal device and be free of this place in no time.' I jumped onto the glass and, as predicted, it shattered once I landed on it. I was then in a small, very familiar room; it was the same one I started my tests in at the beginning of this crazy Aperture adventure. The only difference from then is that there is no cryo bed and the radio isn't playing that obnoxious, if not familiar, tune. "Here I go." I said as the automated voice announced the starting procedure and an orange portal opened in front of me.

He may be on my side, he may be an enemy, but for now, this robot is the only thing I can count on.

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><p>Please review. I do so very much enjoy getting your opinions.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

That's What I'm Counting On - Chapter 2

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><p>I must say, I was very surprised by the response. Reviews, favorites, followers; my inbox almost exploded with all the messages! Thanks everyone. :)<p>

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><p>The preliminary test was simple, really. Pick up the block, put it on the button, go through the door and take the elevator to the next test. The first test chamber was the same thing, but with more button pushing to move the blue portal where I needed it and then take the elevator to the next test. The only annoying part was that these tests were too easy and the automated voice was starting to annoy me. I paused to watch the animation on the outside of the elevator. It was amusing, to say the least. A giant turret in a leopard print paint job? I laughed and continued on to the second test chamber.<p>

"Hey hey! You made it!" A now familiar voice greeted me. I saw the spherical bot from before zip along his track and jogged a little to keep pace with him. "There should be a Portal device on that podium over there." I turned and looked that way. Indeed there was a podium…but…where was the gun? My heart sank and I turned towards the bot. "What? Is it there? I can't see it."

"Not see gun." I said simply. As soon as I get out of here, I'm getting a speech therapist…first I'll need a place to stay…and food…and a job, but getting a speech therapist is up there on my "to-do" list.

"Hm…that's odd. Maybe it fell off?" The robot suggested. I shrugged and proceeded carefully out towards the podium. When the floor creaked, I took a quick step back and looked back at the robotic eye. "I can't hope to find it from here, being attached to a rail and all. It's got to be nearby, I know that much." The robot said, looking puzzled and straining to see around the walls of the test chamber. I took a few careful steps towards the podium and though the floor creaked, it held. As soon as I took my next step, however, the floor buckled and I fell into a deep hole. Fortunately I landed on my feet, unfortunately in a knee-deep puddle of water that would make my squelching boots terrible to walk in.

"Hello?" the robot called from WAY above, "Can you see the portal gun?" Glancing around, I didn't see the gun, but I did see an area lit up off to the side. If the portal gun was in this pool of dark water I may be stuck for quite some time. "Also, are you alive? That's important, should have asked that first." I deadpanned and stared up at the hole I fell through.

'Yes, comrade, wondering if somebody is alive is _very_ important.' I thought with a sigh, 'At least he asks.' I trudged through the murky water, stumbling on a hidden raised plate or an I-beam and feeling the awkward, uncomfortable sensation of water seeping into my boots. When I reached the lit up space, I saw the portal gun on a raised step, almost like an ancient artifact from that Indiana Jones movie. Pausing, I wondered if they had made more Indiana Jones movies by now. I also saw various drawings on the white panels surrounding the step: one was of a person carrying a portal gun, two that looked like GLaDOS's chamber where everyone was calm in one and panicking in the other. There was one where a person was carrying a companion cube and another that depicted GLaDOS and a human in a suspiciously familiar orange jumpsuit. But the last caused me to pause.

"Is it…me?" I said curiously. Indeed the drawing looked like me, maybe a little like a cartoon, but me nonetheless. In this picture, I looked like a holy figure or at least a figure of worship. Whoever drew these was talented and feasibly obsessed. Because of my fight with GLaDOS? Was someone else here? "Too weird." I shivered and looked around for a way out, spotting one on a higher ledge. I shot a blue portal at one of the pictures, entered it and walked up the battered metallic walkway. I wandered through a relatively pristine hallway, some vines and leaves growing through the ceiling and having died and crumbled into the floor. Soon, I got to another old test chamber and marveled at the state of disrepair: support beams, floor and wall panels, glass and various forms of plant life were strewn everywhere. Jumping into the chamber, I quickly solved the test chamber puzzle.

"Some emergency testing may require prolonged interaction with lethal military androids. Rest assured that all military androids have been taught to read and provided with one copy of the Laws of Robotics. To share." As I listened to the automated voice, I laughed and noted that, so far, no turrets have made any attempt to communicate with me, let alone offer a copy of the Laws of Robotics.

'Would be nice to have something to read.' I thought, 'Would probably make it easier for me to speak if I was given at least a page of literature every time the system woke me up.' I sulked and shuffled in my squelchy wet boots; I would have to get out of these boots and dry them pretty soon. I signed and continued through the final emancipation grill and approached the elevator. The automated voice rambled on about my rights and robotics while I sarcastically thought that Aperture didn't give a damn about human rights. The elevator carried me to another test I had solved before, but with a twist.

"This next test is very dangerous. To help you remain tranquil in the face of almost certain death, smooth jazz will be deployed in three. Two. One." And the voice did indeed start playing jazz. It has been a very long time since I heard music and I was enjoying the variety…until the recording petered out back into silence.

"I liked that." I said with a pout. I made it through these tests easily before, but it was nice to have music for once; maybe if I find a complaint sheet I can suggest they play a subject's favorite type of music. After passing through this chamber, I reached test chamber four, another monotonously familiar test that was quickly put behind me as I passed through yet another emancipation grill. The breaking glass floor and fallen ceiling were interesting though. I am happy that Aperture changed the elevators. At least I now knew whether or not I was going up or down in the massive facility, last time, I was blind as to how far down I was. It also helps that I still have daylight. It looks to be about midmorning, if not noon, so I'll still have some time left before sundown. "Where ro…robot?" I struggled, intending to use this time to practice my speech and truly wondering where my…ally with the blue optic was.

While sitting next to the elevator, I unstrapped my boots and cringed as the water inside suctioned my feet and tried pulling my foot back in. I almost gagged as the dark brown water poured from my boots and little pits of plants clung to my foot. I never did like getting dirty, especially under circumstances where I had no choice in the matter. Using the sleeves of my jumpsuit to dry my feet and the inside of my boots, I hoped I wouldn't need to zip up my jumpsuit and stick my arms through the damp sleeves for some time. Satisfied that my feet and boots were dry, I put the boots back on and stepped into the elevator; I absently hoped I hadn't kept the robotic sphere waiting for long.

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><p>"Hey! Oi oi! I'm up here!" I turned to the voice and lo and behold, it was him, the spherical robot that nearly killed me by trying to save my life. "Oh brilliant! You did find a portal gun! You know what, it just goes to show people with brain damage are the real heroes in the end aren't they? At the end of the day. Brave." I had a feeling he was trying to get on my good side, a little too hard if you ask me. I may have brain damage, but there's no need to point it out so plainly.<p>

"Too much words." I said, trying to get the orb to quiet down and pinching the bridge of my nose in fristration.

"Oh dear, I'm so sorry," he said apologetically, "Um…I mean no offence by asking this, but…do brain damaged people get offended if someone mentions their disability?" His blue optic contracted and he seemed to cringe uncomfortably and apologetically.

"Yes. Off…off-ffended." I said with an angry stare and my arms folded over my chest.

"Alright then, I won't say anything more about your brain damage. Nope, not another word. You'll never hear me mention anything about your-" He quickly shut up after another pointed glare and cleared his throat er…speaker. "Well, anyway, pop a portal over there and I'll see you on the other side of this wall here." I sighed and laughed internally, this was an odd personality core, to be sure. He was awkward and bumbling, but pleasant to be around at least, better than the companion cube; the companion cube was quiet and, frankly, a trouble to lug around. This robotic eye in the sky was at least able to pilot himself around. Zapping a portal onto the wall behind him, I jumped into the orange portal and landed heavily on the floor on the other side of the wall.

"Okay, listen, let me lay something on you here. It's pretty heavy." the orb said, "They told me NEVER NEVER EVER to disengage myself from my management rail. Or I would DIE." I looked at him incredulously. No wonder he was a flighty character, being told just detaching himself would kill him. I admit, I was a little timid myself when I saw that first deadly turret, but potentially dying by detaching from the rail? It was a scary idea. "But we're out of options here. So…get ready to catch me, alright, on the off chance that I'm not dead the moment I pop off this thing."

"Okay." I said setting the portal gun down on the side.

"Wh-what? You will?" The orb asked, moving his rail arm to look closer at me. I nodded and the lid plates seemed to blink a few times before he continued speaking. "Well, alright then! On the count of three I'll uh…I'll disengage. Ready? Alright. One…two…THREE! That's high. It's TOO high, isn't it, really, that -" I looked up at him with pity. Now he seemed more like a scaredy-bot than a slightly nervous guide through the facility.

"You not die, I catch." I said, getting a little irritated at the blubbering robot.

"Well, alright. You're getting better at speaking, by the way, almost fluent, you know?" He said with a tilt of his frame, "Alright, going on three just gives you too much time to think about it. Let's, uh, go on one this time. Okay, ready?" He asked, his robotic arm stretching as far as it could go to lessen the impact. Making sure the portal gun was safely out of the way, I set my arms up to catch the robotic eye. "ONE Catchmecatchmecatchmecatchme…I. Am. Not. Dead! I'm not dead!" Indeed, I had caught the personality core by his handles and he had not died, but he was HEAVY and my arms were nearly pulled from their sockets. I should have used the portal gun's tractor beam, but at least he only hit the floor with a tap rather than a hard thud…and he didn't die. That was a plus.

"Not dead, but heavy." I commented gently setting him on the ground so his lower handle would keep him upright as I went to grab the portal gun.

"I am? Well, I suppose so. I am constructed of heavy metals and a lot of, uh other components, you know." I nodded and picked the sphere up with the portal gun's tractor beam; yes, it would have been a much better idea to catch him with this, "So…if you'd be so kind as to plug me into that stick on the wall over there, I'll show you something pretty cool. You'll be impressed by this." Skeptical, I nodded and walked the round robot over to a panel that opened up in the wall. How many of these secret panels are in this place? I did as he said and plugged in into the "stick" as he called it; I'd call it a port or maybe a plug, but it may just be his programming. After being plugged in, he glanced around awkwardly.

"What now?" I asked, my left hand fisted onto my hip and my right hand dangled loosely at my side with a gentle grip on the portal gun.

"Well, um…I can't do it if you're watching." he said, "Seriously. I'm not joking. Could you just turn around for a second?" Again, he glanced around nervously.

'Bashful little fella, ain't he?' I thought. I shrugged and turned around, allowing the round robot to do whatever he planned to do. It wasn't really my place to know or care what was doing, odds are I wouldn't know what to do with the information anyway; I'm no computer genius, actually, I could care less. 'Whatever, so long as this guy is willing to help me out of here.'

"Alright, you can turn around now!" He said after a quick series of beeps. When I turned around, a panel had opened up in the wall and there was a metal pathway behind the wall. Color me impressed. I wonder how different things would have turned out with GLaDOS if I were able to open wall panels like that? "BAM! Secret panel! That I opened while your back was turned. Cool, isn't it?"

"Is cool." I said, picking the orb out of the slot on the wall with the tractor beam. As we proceeded through the hallway, he spoke again.

"Look at this, no rail to tell us where to go!" He said excitedly, whirling inside of his outer shell. "Oh, this is brilliant. We can go wherever we want! Of course you've never been stuck on a rail have you…uh…I'm terribly sorry but I don't think I ever got your name miss. It would be terrible if I only called you 'lady' or 'test subject' or 'you there'." He said politely.

"Chell." I answered, "N-name is Chell."

"Chell, that's an unusual name, but then again, who am I to talk? Hehe." He babbled before continuing, "Anyway, you can call me Wheatley. Never did care for my designated number. I mean 'Personality Core # 16703' seems rather long and plain doesn't it?" I nodded and smiled at the talkative robot in front of me as we traipsed deeper and deeper into the facility.

"Nice to m-meet Wh-Wheatley." I stuttered. Gotta talk more, gotta get back into talking fluently before I go crazy with this simple children's speak. Who knows, at this rate, I might not need that speech therapist after all. It seemed amazingly fast, but before I knew it, we were in a faintly familiar hallway. I furrowed my brows as we walked along, Wheatley putting in his two cents as we neared another very familiar hallway.

"Probably ought to bring you up to speed on something right now." Wheatley started nervously, "In order to escape, we're going to have to go through HER chamber. And she will probably kill us if, um, she's awake." I knew full well who he was talking about, the sadistic task master that strung me along her old test chambers for some cake, a pathetic prize really. The one who originally forced me to run test after mind-numbing test, using turrets, disgusting waste water and fire to direct me around the facility like a sheep: GLaDOS. "If you want to just call it quits, we could just sit here. Forever. That's an option. Option A: Sit here. Do nothing."

"No Wheatley. Must leave Aper…Aperture." I said, determined. I faced GLaDOS when she was her most powerful: three personality cores and a rocket turret to defend her. What was there to fear if she was deactivated? I wonder if she was as dilapidated as the rest of the facility. I walked towards the door and Wheatley started freaking out a little bit.

"Ah, well alright, if you feel so strongly about it, but um…I'm gonna lay my cards on the table: I don't wanna do it. I don't want to go in there. Don't…don't go in there -" He paused as we entered the almost completely green chamber. It seemed like graceful irony that a beastly AI system would be found in a vine-covered chamber. "She's off. She's off! Panic over! She's off. All fine! On we go." I couldn't help but give GLaDOS a nervous glance as Wheatley and I approached. "There she is…What a nasty piece of work she was, honestly. Like a proper maniac. You know who ended up taking her down in the end? You're not going to believe this. A human. I know! I know. I wouldn't have believed it either. Apparently this human escaped and nobody's seen him since." I refrained from detailing to my little friend that I was the human who had defeated GLaDOS and supposedly "escaped." As Wheatley continued "getting me up to speed" I let my own thoughts wander.

'Maybe if the robots kept better records they might notice that they took the murderer of their boss back in to be a test subject some many many years ago, I'm definitely going to assume years.' I thought as Wheatley and I maneuvered around the debris and the incinerator to a metal walkway that was once hidden behind a wall panel but was currently exposed. If this was the way out of the facility, I was a lot closer to the exit than I thought I was. I paused as we stood at the edge of the path, apparently it had been cut off some time ago and the pieces were in a jagged heap at the bottom. Definitely don't want to land on that.

"Jump! Actually, looking at it, that is quite a distance isn't it?" Wheatley said, incidentally voicing a part of my thoughts. It wasn't that far a jump though; the drop from when I was looking for the portal gun was a lot farther and, aside from soggy footwear, I was fine. "You know what? Go ahead and jump. You've got braces on your legs. No braces on your arms though…" And as Wheatley continued talking, I took a few steps back, then ran forward and jumped, causing Wheatley to shout in surprise and shut his optic. Eventually, he eased his optic open and glanced around. "Still held! Still bein' held. That's a great job."

"Should trust me, Wheatley." I commented. He rolled around in his frame as we made our way further down the back way until we came across another metal pathway; this was getting a little monotonous.

"I know, I know - AH!" Wheatley shouted, "I-sorry, I just looked down. I do not recommend it. AH! I've just done it again." I sighed in some relief, for a moment I thought he had triggered a self-destruct device and was about to explode. Our path ended in a tightly spaced room; there was plenty of room vertically and had to accommodate no less than 100 breaker switches. Wow. "This is the main breaker room." Wheatley explained.

"Many sw-switches." I commented. I wonder if I could whistle? Maybe I can try after we get out of here.

"Oh I know. Look for a switch that says ESCAPE POD. Alright? Don't touch ANYTHING else." Wheatley instructed, babbling further instructions on finding the right switch and avoiding touching any other switch in the room. I had trouble seeing further than the 10th row, let along reading all of their labels. It was going to take a while, if anything. "Can you see it anywhere? I can't see it anywhere. Uh. Tell you what, plug me in and I'll turn the lights on." I did so and true to his word, the lights flickered on.

'There are a lot more switches than I thought. How many functions does this one room operate?' I thought, looking around the huge room to hopefully chance upon the correct switch; the odds were not in my favor. Suddenly, the floor turned and I struggled to keep my balance, almost flipping a switch that controlled…the soda machines? Hm…I could use a soda or some other snack. How long has it been since I ate? Again I was jostled as Wheatley moved us upward, flicking a lot of switches to the "activated" position. "Wheatley!" I shouted, worried he might reactivate GLaDOS.

"Okay! No, don't worry! I've got it I've got it I've got it! THIS should slow it down!" Wheatley proclaimed as he pushed a series of buttons that most certainly DID NOT slow the platform down. It actually sped the platform, flipping more switches active. "No. Makes it go faster. Uh oh." I froze as we came to a stop directly in front of the "corpse" that was GLaDOS.

"Powerup initiated." It was that voice again, but this time I only felt dread because of it. And my heart sank further as sparks issued from the metallic body…and it _moved_.

"Okay don't panic! Alright? Chell? Stop panicking! I can still stop this. Ahh. Oh. There's a password. It's fine. I'll just hack it. Not a problem…umm…" Despite the seemingly calm tone of his voice, I knew Wheatley was worrying and panicking. If he can just figure the password, we should be okay. Maybe.

"Hurry Wh-Wheatley!" I urged, holding the portal pointed directly at GLaDOS's body. Slowly, her head was drawn closer to her "torso", the pieces putting themselves back together as Wheatley progressed to attempt to hack the password. His first attempt failed with a loud buzzer, but on the second attept, I realized he said a six letter password. At the sound of the second buzzer, I thought I knew the password. "Wheatley!"

"What. Is. It? I'm trying to hack this-" He shouted back at me.

"Type G-GLaDOS!" I said desperately as the maniacal AI dragged itself back together to dangle from what was left of the ceiling. Widening his optic, Wheatley nodded and tried typing in the password.

"G-l-a-d-o-" Wheatley narrated. Unfortunately, it was already too late.

"Powerup complete." I stared silently at GLaDOS's completed body, prepared to pull Wheatley away with the tractor beam and haul ass out of that chamber.

"No! No no no no!" Wheatley cursed as his access to the password was cut off, "Okay. Okay. Okay listen: New plan. Act natural act natural. We've done nothing wrong." Easy for him to say, he didn't MURDER GLaDOS, easily one of the scariest computer AIs ever developed. "Hello!" Wheatley greeted pleasantly as she came back online. This was not going to be pleasant.

"Oh…it's you." She said, her voice accusing and dark.

"You KNOW her?" Wheatley asked. I was inclined to answer, but I was too focused on finding an opportunity to escape.

"It's been a long time. How have you been?" She asked with false pleasantries.

"Been bet…been better." I struggled, cursing this brain damage. "Wheatley, try to find a way out." I whispered, GLaDOS was hard to face before, but with only a blue portal gun, Wheatley and my brain damage to worry about, I don't stand a chance.

"Right! Right!" Wheatley answered, desperately pressing buttons and searching files.

"I've been really busy being dead. You know, after you MURDERED ME." GLaDOS said, her simulated voice laced with malic.

"You did WHAT?" Wheatley asked, paused in his task. I shot a desperate glare at him and he returned to what he was doing. Unfortunately, I didn't see the claws reaching down for us and a moment later I was hefted into the air, the portal gun thrown from my hands and my only ally in the grasp of another claw, just out of reach. "Oh no! Nonono! Oh no no no…No! Nooo! GAH!" I really couldn't believe it, but our terrible odds of survival had just gotten worse.

"Okay. Look. We both said a lot of things that you're going to regret." GLaDOS said, the claw holding Wheatley clamped hard onto his sides, forcing sparks to fly from his tiny body.

"Wheatley!" I shouted as his moving body parts went limp and his optic faded behind his mostly closed metallic lids. 'No…' I thought, 'Nononono! He was the only way out of her! Wheatley…' GLaDOS started to swing me towards the incinerator as I watched her toss Wheatley away like you would an old piece of gum.

"But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster." She said darkly. I kept my eyes on the broken body of my robotic friend the whole time. "I will say, though, that since you went through all the trouble of waking me up, you must really, really, love to test. I love it too. There's just one small thing we need to take care of first." GLaDOS knows all my tricks and will probably prepare everything she can to keep me away from her and testing over and over until I died. "It's too bad your little friend won't be joining you." I knew getting out was impossible now. Before I knew it, GLaDOS dropped me into the dark chute of the incinerator.

'Wheatley, please be okay…' I thought, staring into the darkness as I fell.

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><p>This chapter's a little longer than the last; I wanted this chapter to end dramatically. Did it work?<p>

But yes, I did seriously scream when that happened to Wheatley. I got attached to the little guy…and scared the beans out of my roommates.

End of chapter 2. Please review.


	3. Chapter 3

That's What I'm Counting On - 3

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><p>It's not often I get on a marathon writing episode. It's fun to be writing again.<p>

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><p>I sat there with a sour look on my face. No, not sour…<em>pissed<em>. She threw me down here like garbage, threw Wheatley away like old, unwanted junk. I found the portal device like she wanted…last night. I was tired by then, mentally exhausted. Since the incinerator room was the only even remotely warm room I had come across I decided to tuck myself into a safe corner and rest, the portal gun held close to my body as I thought angry thoughts at GLaDOS and wondered if Wheatley had survived being crunched like that. 'Odds are he's in the junk heap.' She probably won't be kindly enough to let Wheatley survive, but at least she recognized humans could only operate for so long before resting.

By now, it was morning and I'd gotten some sleep, but not nearly enough to be rested and capable of much cognitive activity. Maybe it was the lull of the incinerator's fires…or lava. I honestly wouldn't have been surprised if Aperture used lava to burn their unnecessary items. Who knows, maybe GLaDOS has a brain operated by a tiny hamster in a tiny wheel, running until it's tiny heart can beat no more.

"Gruesome." I scolded myself; I needed to get back on track. I was no help to Wheatley or myself by just sitting there. With one last lingering yawn I stood and pointed my gun to where I wanted to go. It was a junkyard down here, bodies of turrets and cubes, some remnants of old cores, a skeleton. I was surprised to find a skeleton down here; it must have been one of the few people who tried to escape during GLaDOS's reign, the bones looked old enough and from what I remember in biology class…yeah this was a guy's skeleton. I gave him some words as I passed and continued going on into the test chamber, GLaDOS telling me unimportant words that I kept ignoring.

"HEY." GLaDOS all but shouted at me, "I know you can speak, test subject. So oblige me with an answer: where did you think that core was taking you?"

"Out." I answered. She said she wanted an answer, not that she wanted any specifics. Suddenly, panels slammed down in front of me, cutting off my path. "Wheatley was t-taking me out of Ap…Aperture Labs."

"Are you _sure_?" GLaDOS taunted, "How can you be sure the little numbskull would lead you to your supposed 'freedom'?" I would not answer that question and I waited until the panel seemed to begrudgingly pull garbage out of the way. "Fine. Be that way. I'll just move that out of the way for you. This place really is a wreck." It didn't need saying, GLaDOS thought this place was a mess alright and it was MY fault. She seems to forget that I was defending myself against an artificially intelligent psychopath.

'Maybe if I was a good little test subject I would have jumped in the fire and been done with it.' I thought to myself, 'But all those messages on the wall…whoever left them…I owe it to them to escape from this hellhole.' Finally the path was clear and I went through the door.

"But the important thing is you're back. With me. And now I'm onto all of your little tricks. So there's nothing to stop us from testing…for the rest of your life." I scowled at GLaDOS's lilting tone, she was much too pleased with herself. "After that…who knows? I might take up a hobby. Reanimating the dead maybe." That was gruesome. And…testing for the rest of my life? Reanimating the dead? Did this computer want me to stay in Aperture? Even as a zombie? She is not happy with me.

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><p>Deadly lasers, well those were fun. I understood they were deadly the moment she introduced them, but she apparently left out what made them deadly. Using one of the claws at the front of the portal gun as an improvised knife, I cut a small piece of my jumpsuit off of my sleeves and dropped the piece into the path of the second laser I had met today. It burst into flames on contact and I quickly stamped it out before the supercomputer could notice.<p>

'It was bad enough that I killed her. Burning the whole facility down wouldn't win me any points in her favor.' I thought as I picked up my boot from the small spot of charred, ash mess. Good enough for me. I then looked around the room and found the cube I was looking for behind a fallen wall. It was an easy retrieval: put a blue portal out here beside me and shoot an orange panel right there under the cube. I got closer to the wall to get a better shot and froze as two panels pushed apart.

"Wheatley?" I asked weakly, running up to the wall for a closer look. The sphere sure looked like him, now if only I could hear him speak. But before I could know, the panels slammed shut and GLaDOS began to speak instead.

"You must be hallucinating." the computer said, "There has never been a 'Wheatley' unit in this facility, just a faulty core with faulty programming." I stared up at the unblinking camera on the wall. Again, I was furious with GLaDOS…but what could I do? Unless I reached her chamber again…

'Fat chance.' I thought with a sigh. It was better to go through the motions and see things out.

"Well done. Here come the test results: You are a horrible person." GLaDOS said, "I'm serious, that's what it says: A horrible person. We weren't even testing for that." I imagined that if GLaDOS had a face, she would be smirking and probably waiting for me to blow up in her face about it. But it was GLaDOS, and she would do anything to try and psych me out to see how it affected my testing. Taking a calming breath, I continued on to the next test. "Don't let that 'horrible person' thing discourage you. It's just a data point. If it makes you feel any better, science has now validated your birth mother's decision to abandon you on a doorstep."

'Tch, yeah right.' I thought, ignoring that statement, 'If so, then fine, forget my birth mother. I remember the mom who raised me, so go…I dunno…get infected by a virus GLaDOS. I'm getting Wheatley back and we're both getting out of here.' I nodded sternly and continued through the door to the "new" test chamber three. I walked out to the middle of the room; it was a moment before anything happened, but then the floor shuddered underneath me and pushed upward, making a precarious pedestal. It did surprise me, but not bad enough to not notice the laser redirecting cube. Soon I had both lasers directed at their ports and I was on my way.

"Congratulations. Not on the test." GLaDOS commented absently, "Most people emerge from suspension terribly undernourished. I want to congratulate you on beating the odds and somehow managing to pack on a few pounds." My face scrunched up and I glanced down at myself.

'She's had to stoop that low?' I thought, noting that I wasn't much different than when I last checked. I suddenly felt sorry for the super computer; if GLaDOS has to stoop so low as to call me fat, her processors must be stuck running at fifty percent. I was certain even a sadistic, psychopathic computer would do better than call me an orphaned fatty. 'It's all very sad, really.' As I exited the elevator the umpteenth time, I noted how messy everything still seemed.

"One moment." GLaDOS started, "You're navigating these test chambers faster than I can build them. So feel free to slow down and…do whatever it is you do when you're not destroying this facility." Now how was I expected to do that? There were only three things I remembered doing since I got here: navigating tests, sleeping, and destroying the facility. The last one was fun the first time around. Now, GLaDOS was more dangerous than before: she knew not to underestimate me, but her strategy of mocking me and expecting it to be detrimental was most certainly _not_ working.

"Lazy co-comp…computer." I mumbled, watching the panels clear away some of the trash, reorient themselves, and set themselves back into wall panels. It was disorientating to be standing in this uneven hallway and I was pleased to be on the other side of those panels with even floors. Upon entering the test chamber, though, I took pause and studied the room: a laser coming out of that port there, the exit door on the other side of this…I'll say sewage pit, and, ooh, a button that drops down a cube. It wasn't hard to solve the test: I just needed to spend a little more time finagling my way with the lasers, the cube and the moving platform. I was bothered when GLaDOS called me slow and took a moment to flip her "the bird" in front of the security camera.

"What does that hand sign mean?" She asked, "I cannot find it in my database for sign language. I didn't even know you knew sign language. It isn't in your file." It took me a lot, A LOT, to not laugh right then and there. I had no idea she could not understand the significance of flipping the middle finger to someone. That will be one of the highlights of my time here at Aperture Science Laboratories.

"Th-there a lot G-GLaDOS not know…ab-b-bout Chell." I said with a smirk, continuing on to the next test. The fifth test chamber contained what I found to be one of the most enjoyable inventions of this facility: the aerial faith plates (the other was the portal gun). I didn't even mind when GLaDOS told me I was breathing the same air over and over again, I had way too much fun.

"Let's see what the next test is. Oh. Advanced Aerial Paith Plates." GlaDOS said dully while I silently celebrated having more time to actually relax, "Well. Have fun soaring through the air without a care in the world. _I_ have to go to the wing that was made entirely of glass and pick up the fifteen acres of broken glass. By myself."

'Oh boo hoo GLaDOS.' I thought spitefully, 'Maybe you shouldn't have kept an entire wing made of glass, you whiney AI.' I wondered what in the world they, the scientists, would have kept in that wing. Maybe it was a gardening wing and the glass was part of a greenhouse or maybe the scientists that worked here those many years ago wanted to be able to see the outside…not that they allowed their test subjects to know the same thing. It was probably a good thing this place was so dilapidated, with GLaDOS distracted by cleaning everything up, maybe I could find a way to the inner workings of Aperture and find Wheatley…or at least evidence that Wheatley had been there. I missed my round metal friend.

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><p>Test chamber seven was a little more trouble than the ones before: the high ledges, lasers and long jumps all made it a very troublesome adventure. It was a pleasant surprise when I found the cube I was testing with was a companion cube, though it wasn't so pleasant when GLaDOS continually destroyed the cube I needed to finish the test.<p>

"Every test chamber is equipped with an emancipation grill at its exit, so that test subjects can't smuggle test objects out of the test area. This one is broken." For a moment, I wondered if GLaDOS would actually allow me to grab the cube and use it in the next test. It wasn't much of a surprise, however, that she disintegrated the cube as I carried it towards the elevator. It is cold-hearted, I know, but I didn't have near the same attachment to this companion cube as I had to the cube the first time around.

"Miss old c-cube." I said as I stepped into the elevator. _That_ cube, the first companion cube, was much more useful than this one: it made a shield, a stepstool, and a pillow when I took a nap in that space behind the faulty panel. _That_ was a companion cube. If GLaDOS wanted me to be detrimentally affected by the "death" of the cube, she would give me my old cube, charred though it might be after going to the incinerator. I remembered GLaDOS saying that Aperture products could survive incredible temperatures, so maybe, _maybe_ my cube was hiding away in the incinerator room. 'I really should have given that place a better look while I was down there.' I thought bitterly, 'Hindsight is always 20-20.'

"This next test involves emancipation grills. Remember? I told you about them in the last test area, that did not have one." The omnipotent AI explained. I am starting to get sick of her think I'm an idiot, just because I have trouble speaking…well, there may be more reasons, but I don't know what they are. Upon entering the chamber, it looked difficult, but after a couple portals and the turn or a redirection cube, the test was done. I stood around for a moment, glancing around.

"N-no way test sssso easy." I said, still tripping over my words, but definitely improving. Suddenly my stomach let out a rebellious growl, reminding me that I hadn't had so much as a snack in the past…many years. I was still not sure how much had changed of the world or how much the world changed the facility. I know I had been asleep for a very long time…maybe, if I'm lucky, I'll get an answer out of GLaDOS as to how long I…we, I suppose, have been inactive. Either way, once I hear the supercomputer speak again, I'm going to ask for a snack, a drink, and maybe a nap. When I arrived at the next section, the floor panels moved into position and a small short wall assembled itself in front of an aerial faith plate. I looked around and up, _way_ up, and spotted a place to put a portal; popping one up there and another up on the ceiling on the other side of this panel wall, I was not prepared for the surprise hiding in the ceiling of the test area.

"Hey! Hey! It's me! I'm okay!" I wasn't expecting to hear his voice again; it is definitely music to my ears.

"Wheatley!" I said with a smile. He was okay. He was okay! My robot friend is really okay! I paused and noticed the plate was not launching me back up there. 'Damn faith plate!' Apparently this plate was sending out some sort of signal because the lights blinked between the normal cyan and a golden yellow. I need to get back up there! Maybe Wheatley found a way out?

"Well, I'm back." GLaDOS said, "The Aerial Faith Plate in here is sending a distress signal. You broke it, didn't you." Don't look at me, it wasn't my fault! Damn. Hopefully it can be fixed so I can get back up there. "There, try it now." When the light stopped blinking, I stepped back onto the plate and zoomed into the air.

"You'll never believe what happened! There I was, just lying there, you thought I was done for, but-" Wheatley said quickly. Unfortunately, gravity dragged me back down and I would have to wait until the plate flung me back up there…if I didn't break it again.

"Hmm. This plate must not be calibrated to someone of your…generous…ness. I'll add a few zeroes to the maximum weight." GLaDOS said teasingly.

'Enough with the weight jokes.' I thought, 'I get it, you think I'm fat. Just get my fat ass back up there!' after some beeping and a few more snarky comments from her, the plate flung me back into the air, where Wheatley was still hanging around on the rail.

"A bloody bird! Right? Couldn't believe it either. And then the bird-" Apparently when Wheatley got on track telling a story, it would be pretty hard to get him to realize the person he's talking to was jumping between being eye level and about 100 feet below him. I was happy he was in good repair. Even GLaDOS's backhanded weight remarks wouldn't put my mood down. Unfortunately, making the ceiling lower so I couldn't speak to the sphere with the blue optic anymore did take my mood down a couple notches.

At least now, Wheatley and I had a much better chance of escaping.

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><p>All done with this chapter. Again, reviews are lovely, please leave one behind. :)<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

That's What I'm Counting On - 4

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><p>This story is so popular! Why is it so popular? I wrote this thing on a whim!<p>

Seriously though, thank you, guys. Really. :)

The next chapter will be delayed until after May 11th, I have a final paper to write and I want to focus.

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><p>My mind wasn't racing per-say, but it was running very quick. Finishing this test wouldn't be too easy, GLaDOS has most likely seen to that, but it would be interesting navigating these ledges and lasers. I remember there were a lot more panels where I could land a portal, making it hard to make a proper decision. But with only a handful, it made this test much easier to figure out. 'Maybe she should have left some of the walls whitewashed. I'd definitely have to think a lot more.' I thought, placing the last portal that allowed the laser beam to go through the wall to its desired port and allowing the door to open. I've been thinking about my escape from this place, and unfortunately, no plan seems effective in escaping this computer tyrant.<p>

"Enjoy this next test." GLaDOS started once I left the elevator, "I'm going to go to the surface. It's a beautiful day out. Yesterday I saw a deer. If you solve this next test, maybe I'll let you ride an elevator all the way up to the break room, and I'll tell you about the time I saw a deer again." She was sounding a lot like she did before I put her down: using a lure to get me to do her silly tests. Instead of that mythical cake, which sounded _really_ good right about now, she was going to maybe regale me with stories of the world I missed. Maybe.

'Not gonna happen.' I reassured myself, 'This is GLaDOS I'm thinking about.' I sighed and resolved to get to see a deer and the outside _and_ my own damn cake on my own merits. Test chamber 10 was another fun test; sailing through the air, juggling two different cubes and putting portals in just the right spots. I don't think it took me more than a couple minutes to solve the test and go through another emancipation grill. This was getting tedious again and I was ready to do something new and different.

"Well, you passed the test. I didn't see the deer today. I did see some humans. But with you here I've got more test subjects than I'll ever need." What did she say? Did she just compliment me? I was fairly sure she had complimented my capabilities. That was very unlike GLaDOS, but there was almost definitely something hiding up her metaphorical sleeves; she had something "special" set up for me, I know that much.

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><p>She introduced something new in the last test chamber: light bridges. They felt warm through my boots and when I knelt to put my free hand near its surface, I determined it was indeed very warm…and could potentially do what GLaDOS said it could: put my hair on fire. My hair wasn't particularly special, in fact I was actually considering a haircut, but I didn't want to put it on fire. I had problems with fire, especially when there was a lot of it in a pit at the end of a test. I wonder if I would ever be able to sit in front of a fireplace again.<p>

"Good news. I figured out what to do with all the money I save recycling your one roomful of air." GLaDOS said pleasantly, "When you die, I'm going to laminate your skeleton and pose you in the lobby. That way, future generations can learn from you how not to have your unfortunate bone structure." It wasn't a fantastic fate, but at least I wouldn't have to continue testing as an undead zombie. The panels seemed to be having a hard time responding to the computers commands: some were trapped tugging on the wall framework while others were lazily slumped over and almost drunkenly trying to operate. Of course, panels and panel arms could never be lazy or drunk, those were, as GLaDOS would probably put it, faulty _human_ traits. "Perfect, the door's malfunctioning." she said, her voice laced with frustration, "I guess somebody's going to have to repair that too. No, don't get up. I'll be right back. Don't touch anything."

"Not my fault." I grumbled, "It…it iss GLaDOS's fac…facility." The door really did look like it was freaking out, there were sparks flying from it and it couldn't move more than an inch.

"Hey! Hey! Chell! Up here! Chell!" Wheatley said from the observation room above me.

"Wheatley j-jammed the d-door?" I asked with a smirk.

"Aw, you figured it out." Wheatley answered, a little miffed I beat him to the surprise, "Anyway, I found some bird eggs up here. Just dropped 'em into the door mechanism. Shut it right down. I-AGH! BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD!" Wheatley screamed as a dark flapping blob cawed and flew around Wheatley, chasing him out of the observation room. I slapped my free hand over my mouth and snickered at the antics of the ridiculously silly core. He soon returned, "Okay. That's probably the bird, isn't it? That laid the eggs! Livid!" I would be a bit angry too if I was a mother bird and a spherical robot suddenly raided my nest. "Okay, look, the point is, we're gonna break out of here! Very soon Chell, I promise, I promise! I just have to figure out how. To break us out of here, that is."

'I'll take what I can get.' I thought, 'Do your magic, Wheatley. I'm counting on you.' If I knew Wheatley, his escape plan may be one of the simplest plans ever concocted. But if I could think back on experience, sometimes the simplest plans worked the best, not always but sometimes.

"Here she comes! Keep testing! Remember: you never saw me!" Wheatley hurriedly said before rushing out of the observation room on his rail, disappearing moments before the door opened and GLaDOS spoke.

"I went and spoke with the door mainframe. Let's just say he won't be…well, living anymore. Anyway, back to testing." She said dismissively. I frowned and shook my head; she probably did kill the door mainframe, but maybe she didn't and used those words as a lie to cover up that she simply cleared the eggs and/or egg goop out of the door's mechanism. It was always hard to tell with the AI, but I was pretty sure she hadn't "killed" the mainframe. The door still opened, after all.

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><p>After a bit of rest to recover from the tests and put my hunger on the backburner, I was ready to continue, though I wasn't sure if my rest had occurred during daytime or nighttime hours. 'Ah, a turret test.' I smiled at the nostalgia as I entered the next test. There was a turret in front of me, thankfully facing away from me, and it was the same design I had seen before. 'I wonder if they still sound the same?' I thought, picking up the turret in front of me and hearing the same old seemingly innocent voice plead to be put back down on the ground. I did…right in front of another turret. I am lucky that the first turret shot at the second, caused it to fall over and both had a shootout until, almost in synch, they said "shutting down" and were silenced. The next one was sent tumbling through a portal and I was free to move on with the rest of the test. 'She makes this too easy.' I thought as I spotted several more turrets in my way and three weighted cubes. Before long, I had finished the test and had to stop short after exiting the room; the metal catwalk had been abruptly cut short and there was a sizeable distance between where I stood and the ground. It wasn't too high to jump, so it wasn't long before I was on another catwalk, assumedly to another test.<p>

"To maintain a constant testing cycle, I simulate daylight at all hours and add adrenal vapor to your oxygen supply. So you may be confused about the passage of time." Oh, how correct she was, "The point is, yesterday was your birthday, I thought you'd want to know." GLaDOS said. Huh, so now I was…24 years old, plus however many years of stasis. That's right, I wanted to ask her how long we'd been out of commission.

"GLaD-DOS?" I prompted as I walked down the catwalk.

"What is it test subject?" She asked, "You don't normally initiate conversation."

"Was w-wondering…how long siiin…since our f-fight?" I asked, walking through what appeared to be an assembly line.

"Now why would I answer that? Maybe I would give you an answer if your results didn't say you were such a horrible person." GLaDOS said bitterly as a platform carried me to my next test. I raised one eyebrow in confusion and stared at a nearby device in the floor. I couldn't think of what it could be, until I looked at one of these glass turbine things that had been lit up by a discouragement beam with a lit up path from the turbine to one of the check boxes by the door. So that's what I had to do; simple enough.

"Thanks a-anyway." I said, grabbing the redirection cube and positioning the laser to go through the nearest turbine and land perpendicular to the far wall. I put a blue portal where the laser and the wall met and an orange portal on the side wall so the laser would continue and go through the other two turbines. I heard the familiar sound of the exit opening and turned to take my leave.

"You know how I'm going to live forever, but you're going to be dead in sixty years?" she began, prompting me to angrily think that there was no guarantee I will die at 84, "Well, I've been working on a belated birthday medical procedure. Well. Technically, it's a medical EXPERIMENT. What's important is, it's a present." I frowned in confusion. What in the world did she have in store for me?

* * *

><p>"I have a surprise waiting for you after the next test." GLaDOS said pleasantly. I again imagined her with a face and a very evil smile on her face. "Telling you would spoil the surprise, so I'll give you a hint: It involves meeting two people you haven't seen in a long time."<p>

'Who? Captain Obvious and his sidekick Trap?' I thought sarcastically. I know I've been out for a very long time and, if my guess is correct, I've been out long enough for everybody I've known from before Aperture have long since passed. It was sad to think of my old friends and family so casually, but there was little evidence thus far that could prove it hasn't been long enough for that to happen. 'Everybody dies GLaDOS.' I thought with a shake of my head to get myself back into a testing mindset.

The first thing I noticed was a turret hiding behind a venting grate. I didn't know why, but so long as it couldn't hit me, I guess it's okay to leave the turret to enjoy the vent. I continued on, using the portals, the weighted cube, and the laser redirecting cube to fry all the turrets in the way and point the laser to its designated port. 'That was very cathartic. I feel much better now.' I thought, stepping into another elevator that led to another testing area. I wondered what the place would be like if there were splashes of color every now and again instead of the boring dark grey and light gray panels. Then I decided not to wonder as multicolor test chambers would only make test subjects dizzy and probably confuse the ones that were colorblind.

I was again in another small test chamber with a light bridge, a laser, a button that would open the door, a cube, and a glass plate elevator that was triggered by the laser reaching is port. Didn't GLaDOS say she had a surprise for me? It is probably for the best that she didn't give me my surprise right away. Soon, the puzzle was solved, I took the plate elevator, stepped through the emancipation grill, and boarded the elevator.

"I'll bet you thought I forgot about your surprise. I didn't." GLaDOS said, "In fact, we're headed to your surprise right now. After all these years. I'm getting choked up just thinking about it." My eyes widened at the prospect on what my "surprise" could possibly be and I immediately started feeling a heavy dose of dread as the elevator carried me down to the next chamber. I didn't move for a moment, suppressing my trepidation, and then took a few timid steps out of the elevator towards the door. Once it opened, I couldn't see anything but a spot on the floor lit up by the one visible fluorescent light in the room.

"Well? Don't you want your surprise?" GLaDOS prompted impatiently. I took a few timid steps forward and the light went out, the door snapping shut behind me. I held up my portal gun and whipped my head around, waiting impatiently for the "surprise". "Initiating surprise in three…two…one." The lights flipped on and I twisted around in fear…until I realized I was just in a small room with large, _old_ old-fashioned computers and a glass tube. "I made it all up." And she dropped confetti out of the tube. "Surprise."

'That…BITCH.' I mentally cursed, imagining tearing GLaDOS's circuits apart and having turrets fire into her metallic frame until she resembled swiss cheese rather than an all-powerful supercomputer. Maybe I can chuck _her_ into the incinerator, have _her_ crushed, have _her_ be promised a wonderful, if cheesy, reward and then have it squashed by lying in her face about EVERYTHING. I was ANGRY and, apparently, it translated into my facial expression.

"Oh come on…if it makes you feel any better, they abandoned you at birth, so I very seriously doubt they'd ever want to see you." She told me nonchalantly. I was in no mood to deal with GLaDOS and decided to do my next test with a scowl on my face and refuse to indulge GLaDOS with any interaction for however long it took Wheatley to get me, and subsequently him, out of this place. Fortunately, after solving another test and listening to another bunch of bull from GLaDOS, Wheatley returned with some more news.

"Hey! How's it going! I talked my way onto the nanobot work crew rebuilding this shaft." Wheatley explained, "They are REALLY small, so - ah - I KNOW Jerry. No, I'm on a BREAK, mate. On a break." Wheatley was a clever core, thank goodness, and he was good enough to escape GLaDOS's sensors, but it seems he couldn't quite get away from his nanobot supervisor. "Anyway, we're really close to busting out. Just hang in there for - OW! OW! Just hang in there for five more - What? Jerry you can't fire me for that! Yes, JERRY – OR, maybe your prejudiced worksite should have accommodated a nanobot of my size. Thanks for the hate crime, Jer! See you in court, mate." Silly Wheatley, you're not a nanobot. "Anyway, look, just hang in there for five more chambers Chell."

What exactly happens next remains to be seen, but all I needed was an opening and we would be gone.

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><p>The situation where the turrets took each other out? How I reacted at the "surprise"? That really did happen to me.<p>

I do apologize for the many breaks in this chapter; I just couldn't concoct a decent transition between those chunks of story that wouldn't be narrating everything that was in the game.


	5. Chapter 5

That's What I'm Counting On - 5

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><p>I couldn't wait until the 11th. I had to write up and post the fifth chapter right away.<p>

I do love Wheatley, he's so cute and cuddly…despite the fact he's made of metal.

Please allow me to say that I LOVE the test right after Wheatley shows up on the nanobot worksite. Way too much fun, I had to narrate it. :)

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><p>"Well, you know the old formula: Comedy equals tragedy plus time. And you have been asleep for a while. So I guess it's actually pretty funny when you do the math." GLaDOS said, thankfully filling the quiet, but unfortunately not making much sense. Was it because of the false phone call she made after that last test? I shake my head and continue on to the next test, first spotting the turbine beside me and then all the others set up around a pit and the distances the aerial faith plate would have to fling me. This was going to be pretty fun. Jumping down, I got to work, putting an orange portal in a high alcove across from the laser and the blue one on the ground next to me. I grabbed the redirecting cube and carried it through the blue portal, setting it just right and making the laser sail through a turbine.<p>

'That wasn't too hard. Now, lets' get the rest done.' I thought, jumping back down, setting the orange portal above the aerial faith plate and jumping into the blue portal on the floor. After being launched up by the plate, I quickly aimed and fired at a high point on the wide panel to the left of the entrance, and flew through the air, knocking a redirection cube to the ground. Again I dropped down, placed the orange portal and grabbed the cube, escorting it through the blue portal and letting it go from the tractor beam long enough to place the orange cube across from the second alcove and retrained the tractor beam on the cube before I fell through the blue portal and landed in the second alcove.

"GLaDOS mad-de a fun t-test." I said with a grin, positioning the cube to guide the laser through the turbine by the entrance. For the fourth time I dropped to the floor and set the orange portal above another redirection cube before jumping into the blue portal and landing atop my target. I grabbed the cube and dropped to the floor again, setting the orange portal above the entrance, escorting the cube through and pointing it at the turrets that guarded the exit. A chorus of "Ow!" "It burns!" and "I'm on fire!" rang out before they all exploded from the heat and I redirected the laser to its port which triggered a set of panels to reform into a platform. One last time, I dropped to the ground, put the orange portal above the faith plate and jumped into the blue portal. After rising through the blue portal again, I shot the orange portal at the highest pint across from the platform, soared through the air, and made my way towards the exit.

"I thought about our dilemma, and I came up with a solution that I honestly think works out for the best for one of both of us." GLaDOS said cynically. I glanced around with some worry as I stood in the elevator, determined that "one of both of us" only meant GLaDOS would be getting the better end of the deal. Come on, Wheatley, show me that escape plan.

* * *

><p>"I've got a surprise for you after this next test. Not a fake, tragic surprise like last time. A <em>real<em> surprise, with tragic consequences." Uh oh. "And you know what? I'll use real confetti this time. The good stuff. Our last bag. Part of me is going to miss it, I guess-but at the end of the day it was just taking up space." I started getting excited and anxious about the escape plan, would the test be enough to distract GLaDOS while Wheatley and I ran off? How would Wheatley be able to help me if we got caught? Would we get caught? I was so engrossed in thinking, I nearly walked off the edge of the dark floor into a pit of assumedly toxic waste.

'Focus, Chell. Focus! Getting wrapped up in thinking may make me miss the metaphorical bus!' There was a light bridge, a slip of white panels near a button which thankfully lined up with a cube drop. I put a blue portal there, an orange portal where the current light bridge met the white wall, and jogged along the transparent pathway until I pass through the portals. I pressed the button that dropped a cube onto the bridge and made my way over to the cube…until the power suddenly went off.

"What's going on? Who turned out the lights?" GLaDOS asked. She'd been running this testing too smoothly for it to have been an accidental power outage. Then the white panel near the entrance folded open and revealed Wheatley.

"Hey buddy!" Wheatley said, in a terrible western cowboy accent, "I'm speaking in an accent that is beyond her range of hearing." Really? GLaDOS can't hear _that_? Maybe I'd better get my cowboy accent up to par.

"Look - metal ball, I CAN hear you." Whoops! Nevermind.

"Run! I don't need to do the voice. RUN CHELL!" Wheatley shouted. Not hesitating longer than half a second, I launched myself forward through the opened panels and silently thanked my round metal friend as a light bridge appearing below me long enough to get to a metal catwalk. I turned left and ran as quick as my boots would allow, the metal plate-springs clanging loudly as I ran; boy do I wish I had a comfortable pair of tennis shoes to run in. "Okay, quick recap: We are escaping! That's what's happening now: we're escaping. So you're doing great. Just keep running!" No need to tell me twice, Wheatley. I ran full tilt along the catwalk, taking a few corners too quickly and banging my hips violently against the railing.

'OW!' I shouted internally, biting my lower lip and running as fast as possible along the catwalk, Wheatley feeding me encouragement to keep going and telling me about what his plans were now that we were out of the tests and GLaDOS was hunting us down.

"We are going to shut down her turret production line, turn off her neurotoxin, and then confront her." Wheatley explained as he sailed along his rail. He was very clever, that Wheatley, I didn't consider shutting down GLaDOS's turrets, let alone her neurotoxin, mainly because I have no idea how to do so. However, Wheatley apparently does. "Again, though, for the moment: RUN!" I turned to the bot and gave him a quick confirming nod, saving my breath for my impromptu exercise routine.

"The irony is that you were almost at the last test." GLaDOS said over her intercoms as a wall to my left unfolded to reveal a cube on a button, a light bridge and a door with greenery outside, "Here it is. Why don't you just do it? Trust me, it's an easier way out than whatever asinine plan your friend came up with." When will GLaDOS learn? After nearly killing me many times over she should know that I couldn't trust her as far as I could throw her. And, judging by how large she is, that isn't far at all. Instead of running left on the light bridge, I ran right, following Wheatley's instructions. The light bridge disappeared, momentarily scaring me before I land on another catwalk. It's a dead end in front of me, so I whirl around and keep running along the metal walkway. It was hard to keep this pace: my stomach was empty, my muscles were straining to support me, and the dark space did nothing to assist my run.

"Come on! Come on!" Wheatley beckoned, just barely ahead of me on his rail. I jumped off the rail onto the only area I could go: a space between what I assumed to be test chambers. Unfortunately it was a trap and Wheatley shouted in surprise as turrets appeared in the small space. The three turrets were quickly taken down, but not before one bullet grazed my right arm and dragged drops of blood from the room. I fastened my left hand over the wound and put a blue portal on the one available wall and peeked over a panel to put the orange portal above another catwalk. I ran through the blue portal, landed on the catwalk and kept running after Wheatley. "Chell! Are you alr-GAH! You're bleeding! Oh no, are you okay? You're not going to die are you?"

"I'm fine." I said quickly, noting that it was probably my adrenaline that kept me from stuttering.

"We-alright. Great! Come on!" Wheatley said quickly, "This way! This way!" Again I ran full tilt along the catwalk, banging my hips again as I rounded corners, and then I spotted a panel moving to reveal, "Turret!" Yes, a turret. I shot a blue portal beneath the droid and it fell through to where I last left the orange portal, the sound of bullets bouncing off metal in the distance behind me. I hurried up the stairs of the catwalk and my exhaustion started to show through: my lungs were burning and my muscles had gone numb from my endeavors. "There's the exit! We're almost out of here!"

'Thank you Wheatley!' I thought, spurred to press myself faster as GLaDOS started throwing very large and very heavy pieces of metal to break the metal walkway. I turned the last corner and spotted what Wheatley wanted me to run to: an elevator in an alcove.

"Hurry Chell! HURRY! The lift! Get in the lift!" I didn't know who was more scared at this point: Wheatley or me? First I had to jump into the elevator before that pillar took me out. I threw myself into the box and turned around to watch the whole place get crushed; to think, if I was a few seconds slower, I would've been crushed. I slumped to the floor and panted heavily as Wheatley hung above me on his rail. "We made it we made it we made it we made it…I'll meet you on the other side." I looked up and nodded as I sat to catch my breath, listening to the metal grind against metal and wincing at the loud, screeching could-have-been-my-death scene. The lift came to a stop and I stood on wobbly, tired legs and walked down the short hallway.

'Dear God…that was the single most scary thing I have ever faced.' I thought, my mouth and throat choking up with my thirst. I swallowed what little spit I had left and kept moving, albeit much slower than before. Unfortunately, the door in front of me was busted and spitting out sparks; a problem quickly resolved by one portal on this side and another portal on the other side. Soon, I was on another metal catwalk, the facility rattling every now again.

"Ah! Brilliant! You made it through! Well done! Follow me, we've still got work to do. At least she can't touch us back here." Wheatley said as he started roving along his rail. I sighed and followed the round robot…for all of a few meters. Not long after we started going down the catwalk, the lights progressively shut off until Wheatley and I were both trapped in darkness. "What's happening? Um. Hmm…Okay. Okay! Don't move!" Wheatley said, probably trying to think up a reason for why we were cast into darkness. I knew much better than to wander around in the dark, for all I knew I could walk off the edge of the catwalk into the waiting abyss below.

"You s-said GLaD-DOS could…couldn't r-reach us." I said into the darkness, not really worrying about where Wheatley was at the moment, considering I could still see the faint glow of his optic. I could trust him to remain on his rail until he came up with a solution.

"You're right. Sorry about that…"Wheatley said sheepishly, "Okay. Alright. So, I've got an idea. But it is bloody dangerous. Here we go…GAAAA!" Suddenly I was blinded by a bright light coming from Wheatley's optic and had to turn away to let my eyes readjust. "Oh for God's…They told me that if I ever turned this flashlight on, I would DIE." Wheatley complained, lighting the rail ahead of me and encouraging me to follow. "They told me that about EVERYTHING. I don't even know why they even bothered to give me this stuff if they didn't want me using it. It's pointless. Mad." I shook my head and shrugged; Aperture Science was a place for experimentation, not sensible thought. Wheatley guided me through the underbelly of the facility by the light of his eye. "Ooh. It's dark down here, isn't it?"

"V-very." I agreed. Without Wheatley, I wouldn't be able to see my hand in front of my face.

"They say the old caretaker of this place went absolutely crazy. Chopped up his entire staff. Of robots. All of them robots." Wheatley explained, "They say at night you can still hear the screams…of their replicas." Ooh, creepy. "All of them functionally indistinguishable from the originals. No memory of the incident. Nobody knows what they're screaming about. Absolutely terrifying. Though obviously not paranormal in any meaningful way." I would have liked to argue, but then I remembered that whomever would have been interested was probably long gone by now. I carefully navigated the dark path and relished the moment of silence, the only noise being the soft whirr of Wheatley's robotic innards and the louder clang of my boots against the walkway, that is, until I came to the broken end of the walkway. "Ooh, long jump here." I took a couple steps back and then jumped over the gap and loudly landed onto the metal staircase before making my way up them.

"How much f-farther?" I asked Wheatley as I reached the last step.

"Not too much longer, Chell. We'll be there in a bit." Wheatley answered, lighting another jump from the catwalk onto…a conveyor belt? "This looks dangerous. I'll hold the light steady." I nodded and smoothly stepped off the catwalk and landed on a sheet of metal on the conveyor belt. "Nicely done!" I stared up ahead and I could see some light and movement. I was surprised as several sheets of metal were pulled above the conveyor belt in my path. "Ooh! Watch out!" I jumped back as robotic arms appeared out of the darkness and started to cut out pieces of metal from the plate I was standing on. I spotted yet another catwalk to my left and I leapt onto it to escape the robotic arms and the flaming pit where the excess metal was being dumped.

"Here's an interesting story, you might like this: I almost got a job down here in Manufacturing." Wheatley started, "Guess who the foreman went with? Only an exact duplicate of himself. Nepotism." Thank goodness, if Wheatley did get the job, I might not have woken up this last time. "Ended up giving me the WORST possible job, tending to all the smelly humans." I stopped and stared up at Wheatley as he kept going for a moment.

"Smelly?" I asked. I knew I hadn't taken a shower in a while and this past exercise only added to the grime and sweat I was wearing.

"The…the um…sorry…I wouldn't say smelly. Just attending to the humans." Wheatley said quietly. I huffed and continued along the path, the area being lit up a little bit by cubes sailing through glass tubes. Still, Wheatley lit the way, allowing me to safely jump another gap in the catwalk. "Sorry. That just slipped out. A bit insensitive. Umm…the smelly humans…okay. We um have to split up here for a moment. Portal up to that passage over there on the other side.

'Oh, awkward bumbling Wheatley.' So long as Wheatley doesn't say any other offensive things, we're going to remain on pretty good terms.

* * *

><p>Wheatley left me at a spiraling glass tunnel where turrets in boxes, turrets out of boxes, and cubes flew to their respective destinations. Judging by the design on the box, these turrets were probably up for sale on some market, most likely a behind-the-scenes or not-so-legal. I just sighed and walked along the spiraling tube until I got to a niche in the storage box wall. I hopped down and went through the doorways, to what the announcing voice said was the "turret redemption line." As I was proceeding, one turret had its blinking laser guidance focused on me; it seemed really familiar. It was also very friendly, apparently, because its sides remained firmly shut.<p>

"It's me!" the turret proclaimed, "I'm different!" I quickly glanced between it and the furnace and decided to rescue the turret from its firey doom with the tractor beam. "Thank you." It said quietly. I escorted it down to the catwalk below. "Get mad."

"Huh?" This turret sure was different. Not only did it _not_ shoot at me on sight, it was giving me advice.

"Don't make lemonade!" It continued, "Prometheus was punished by the gods for giving the gift of knowledge to man. He was cast into the bowels of the earth and pecked by birds. Remember that." This turret was…fantastic…I'm not sure why, but I did like what this bullet-filled nutcase was talking about. "That's all I can say. Don't forget!"

"Th-thank you." I said to the turret and gently set it back down before turning it to face the catwalk where I came from. I started on my way when it spoke again.

"It won't be enough." the turret continued, making me stop and turn to face it, "The answer is beneath us. Her name is Caroline." It said mysteriously.

"Who's Caro…Caroline?" I asked it.

"You'll see, friend." I wondered what that meant, but decided to take the advice of the wise and kindly turret. I will be careful, I won't forget about Prometheus, I won't make lemonade…and I'll find out about this…Caroline.

* * *

><p>Action chapter is full of action!<p>

And yes. I did skip the test with three lasers in the small room because I don't like that test. I was stuck on it for nearly half an hour before I finally figured it out.

Also, when I rescued the turret in my first time playing, I didn't quite get it until I got to the later parts of the game. You have no idea how bad I freaked out.


	6. Chapter 6

That's What I'm Counting On – 6

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><p>Thank goodness my finals are over and done with. Bring on summer break!<p>

Sorry this chapter's a little late, I've spent the past few days packing all my stuff in my dorm room, doing finals and replaying Portal 2…again…it makes it much easier to write this story when I know exactly what little silly things I want in my work. :)

I guess I should say I'll be taking liberties with some dialogue. Most will remain the same as in the original script, but some events and dialogue will change of course.

This is kinda a cute shortish chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

><p>As I walked through another emancipation grill, I heard the sounds of turrets speaking and a lot of bullets being fires, but the oddest part of it all was that a few of the "turrets" had a different voice and had some very amusing commentary. My favorite thus far was a turret without the white plating demanding that "squeaky-voice" give it some of their bullets. The lineup of turrets seemed random: a few good turrets with scattered crap-turrets and sometimes a bunch of crap-turrets interspersed with a few good turrets. I placed a portal up above and behind the target dummy and another on my left and jumped through when the first crap-turret came along before quickly wheeling around the side of the panel and firing the orange portal in the office space behind the line. Fortunately, the next turret in line turned out to be another crap-turret, so I placed the second portal on the wall behind the dummy and jumped through while the turret's barrels tried to fire bullets that weren't there. After walking along the metal catwalk, I came on a quality control center determining good turrets by how they responded to another turret greeting them with an increasingly annoying "Hello?" I paused in front of an incinerator and took a moment to mourn the potentially helpful crap-turrets that had already been tossed. Speaking of which-<p>

"You can't fire me I quit!" I heard immediately before being struck in the back of the head by a defective turret. I immediately responded by ducking down, putting both hands on the back of my head and firing out a nasty expletive to express my pain.

"Ah! Oh my god! Are you alright Chell?" I heard Wheatley shout as he rolled in on his rail. I continued to mutter angry curses and turned to the blue-eyed bot to give him a curt nod as my eyes started to water up and then turned to the turret that accidentally struck me. "Okay, okay. Um…you don't look like you're bleeding…and you're getting up, so you seem alright." Wheatley said, his optic's lids narrowing as if to try and focus better, "Anyway, um…We're right where we need to be, just follow the walkway to the office area over here."

"What? Where am I? I'm not falling or burning. Where the hell am I?" it asked, its blind red optic swiveling around curiously as I stood up. I then picked up the turret with the portal gun's tractor beam and the defective turret grew alarmed as all the other turrets did when I picked them up. "Oh! Whoa whoa whoa! Oh thank god. You saved my bacon, pal! Where we going? Is this a jailbreak? I can't see a thing."

"S-sure. A jailbreak. After you n…nearly give me a conc-cussion." I say smartly, not expecting the turret to actually apologize.

"Hey, for what it's worth, I'm sorry lady." The turret said, its body turning to try and look around, "Didn't exactly have a choice which way that catapult chucked me, ya know?" I blinked at the turret and wondered what could feasibly have gone wrong in the assembly process to give these turrets a semblance of polite, if a little snarky, dialogue.

"Uh…forgiven." I said uncomfortably as I hurried along the walkway, the turret in tow.

"Wha-? What did you bring that thing for?" Wheatley asked as I approached; I shrugged and set the turret down outside the office doorway before walking in after Wheatley, nursing the goose-egg lump on the back of my head with my left hand. The turret said something about keeping watch for us, but then Wheatley began speaking over the crap-turret, "Well, anyway, follow me! You're gonna love this."

'The only thing I'm going to 'love' is a double cheeseburger with onions, lettuce, tomato, and ketchup and an extra-large fries on the side followed by a very long and warm bubble bath, clean clothes, and a cozy bed with freshly laundered flannel sheets. In. That. Order.' I thought sourly, my stomach raising its volume to such a level I was afraid that GLaDOS might hear it. I gulped some air in a futile attempt to put something in my stomach and then focused on Wheatley's plan.

"Tadah! Only the turret control center. Thank you very much." Wheatley announced. Had he a pair of arms instead of handles, he might hold them out wide to best present this area of this facility and then maybe bob up and down to take a bow or two. "Here, come and have a look out the window. It's good." Wheatley beckoned and I followed, glancing between a good turret on the line and the turret sequestered in its own little room, "See that scanner out there? It's deciding which turrets to keep and which to toss. And it's using that MASTER turret as a template! If we pull out the template turret, it should shut down the whole production line." This was when I noticed the "tic" Wheatley had developed: every now and again he would spark and twitch, probably painfully, before returning to normal. It must've started when GLaDOS all but crushed Wheatley to scrap in the grip of her claw.

"That…that would be he-helpf-ful." I commented, imagining an Aperture without any turrets…unsuccessfully; the turrets have been there since I started my adventure in the Aperture testing facility and a whole test chamber without turrets wouldn't feel nearly as rewarding as a test chamber with them. At least I wouldn't have to worry about being shot down while trying to innocently walk past.

"Right. Hmm. I'm going to have to hack the door so we can get at it." Wheatley said awkwardly. By now, I knew the drill and turned my back to the spherical, mechanical eye right before I heard a nasty crash and whirled back around. I saw Wheatley standing innocently beside the broken window, tiny pieces of glass falling from his frame and onto the floor. Good thing I was wearing boots. "Done! Hacked!" I shot an orange portal into the tiny room and then a blue portal right outside it before stepping through and grabbing the template with the tractor beam. "Well that should do it." Unfortunately, the template turret had a last surprise in store.

"AAAH!" I shouted, the template blowing up in my face and knocking me back to the wall.

"Ah! Oh no no no no no!" Wheatley said quickly, his optic contracted to a small point, "Are you okay Chell? You're bleeding a lot!" I winced and moved my arms, feeling the bits of shrapnel in my arms and face and pulling them all out as best I could. Contrary to what Wheatley claimed, I wasn't bleeding a lot, I only had a lot of superficial cuts and one bad slash in my left arm and all of them were bleeding, but not nearly enough to make me do more than wince.

"I…I'm okay Wh-Wheatley. Was only s-surprised. Many super…superf-ficial c-cuts." I explained using the portals like a mirror to pluck out some more bits of warm metal and sharp plastic. Wheatley hovered around and sparked worriedly before settling and determining that I was decidedly not dying.

"Well um…I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it looks like the line is still moving. Working from memory, it said. So…now we need to figure out how to stop the line." Wheatley explained sheepishly. It was then that a defective turret stopped at the scanner and I remembered my little friend I left at the doorway. I jogged out there, tiptoeing around the glass and metal, and grabbed the crap-turret from before. "Well, maybe we-hey, what've you got there?"

"I can't see a thing. What just happened?" The crap turret asked as I walked over to the blue portal, "Better open fire!" I paused for a second, but at the repeated clicking sound of an empty barrel, I relaxed again and set the crap-turret in the template turret's old place.

"What are you…" my blue-eyed friend began, only pausing as the announcer on the line announced the acceptance of a new template. "Oh, BRILLIANT! That's brilliant! If we're lucky, she won't find out all her turrets are crap until it's too late. Heheheh. Classic." Wheatley commented with a chuckle, "Okay! Keep your eye on the turret line, I'm gonna go and hack the door open." I nodded and watched as the crap turrets passed the scan, the new template gave a very evil sounding laugh, and the "good" turrets sailed through the air into the incinerator. "Okay, I'm about to start hacking. It's a little more complicated than it looked from your side. It should take about ten minutes. Keep one eye on the door." I heard the door open to my left and then walked through, quietly enough where Wheatley continued to speak as if I were still in the observation room. "This door's actually pretty complicated. It may take a _little_ bit longer than I thought." He said as I silently sneaked up behind him, "You might as well sit and get comfortable. Nurse all those-"

"Ahem." I said with a cheesy grin on my face, loud enough to startle Wheatley.

"Ah! How long's the door been open?" Wheatley asked, his simulated voice sounding a little bit breathless. I shook my head and walked along the hallway, Wheatley complaining all the way, "Was there any sort of announcement before it opened? Like an alarm or a hacker alert? I mean, fair enough, the important thing is it's open, but just mention in the future. Cough or something." I shook my head as we made our way through a fairly familiar room, Wheatley commenting about our next endeavor. I'll wait until he's done talking, I need to tell him I need water and food and rest. BAD. I wandered through an old classroom and froze as I saw some much more familiar scientific displays: a few potato batteries, a vinegar volcano, a still-operational lit up wheel of lights…and a massively overgrown potato plant. "Look at that. It's growing right up into the ceiling. The whole place is probably overrun with potatoes at this point. At least you won't starve, though."

"Wh-Wheatley. Is th-there clean w-wat…water?" I asked, still staring at the giant potato plant before me, absently wondering if this was the bush/tree I had seen back when I looked over the railing outside my relaxation chamber that long time ago.

"Huh? Um, yes I think so. The water fountain over there should be okay." Wheatley explained, rocking towards a water fountain in the corner. There were roots all around it and some even moved into the drain, but the faucet itself was clear. Pressing the button, the water looked clear and there was no odd smell. "If Aperture didn't have an amazing reputation as a laboratory, this place would probably be renowned for its impervious plumbing. For, um, crystal clear drinking water, that is." I nodded and gratefully gulped the water down, satisfying my thirst and deciding that my next endeavor would be to grab potatoes and eat until my stomach was full. It wouldn't be the most nutritious meal, but it would fill me up at least. "So, um…are we going soon?"

"No Wheatley. N-need to r-rest and eat a-and drink." I said firmly, pulling large spuds from the massive plant and using a sharp tip of the portal gun to cut them open so I could get at the softer meat inside. I took the spuds and set them and the portal beside the fountain before turning back to reach up to my round metal friend. "Co-come down."

"Ah…well…alright. You can just pop me back up here when you're set to go, right?" I nodded and the robot released itself easily. Knowing his weight, I was able to catch Wheatley and swing his weight to my left side so he wouldn't touch the floor and my arms wouldn't come lose from my shoulders. "So, if you don't mind my asking, how do you know those potatoes are safe?" He asked curiously. I hefted him higher and braced him against my torso, before approaching the experiment and pointing at the sloppily written name on the display board. "Oh…well…that would explain it."

"by Chell"

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><p>I made Chell quite accident prone, didn't I? Well, I myself am prone to wounding myself for doing stupid things, especially in video games. Thus far, however, I haven't had anything literally blow up in my grasp and lodge shrapnel into my arms, hands and face.<p>

And YES. The mutant potato plant was Chell's experiment! It says so on the display board! I spazzed out when I noticed it.

Anyway, as always, your reviews are very valuable to me! Please leave one behind before you take off. :)


	7. Chapter 7

That's What I'm Counting On – 7

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><p>The last chapter was small. I must make this one bigger!<p>

A lot of you have been waiting for this moment in the game and I just hope you like the way I wrote it up.

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><p>After another night's rest, I assume it was night, I awoke to a fortunately quiet stomach, a parched throat from sleeping with my mouth slightly ajar, and a large metal orb "sleeping" in my lap. 'Can Personality cores sleep?' I wondered, gently tapping on Wheatley's closed lids to wake him up. The two plates peeled apart, slowly at first, to reveal a dimmed blue optic.<p>

"Oh, hey. You're awake." Wheatley commented; he sounded tired and a little sleepy, especially with a tiny little yawn. "Good. Good. I was able to reserve and recharge a little extra battery myself. Did you know that the scientists in this place made it so their robots could recharge in sleep mode like a human does? And we can even feel tired as our batteries run out? It's pretty cool actually. Dunno how they did it, but it's cool, right?" I nodded in response, my eyelids still heavy, and put a fisted hand over my mouth to cover a yawn. I hadn't actually slept that well in ages, maybe it was because I had dreamed of GLaDOS in clown makeup and juggling personality cores for my amusement. I shrugged and gently lifted Wheatley out of my lap and set him to my left before getting up and walking out of his sight. "Uh, wait a minute! Hey! Where're you going?" I gave him a sour look and proceeded as far as was decently possible. Thankfully, an old, and completely functional, employee restroom appeared around the next corner.

'I bet he has no idea why I'd left.' I thought to myself upon my return. GLaDOS knew enough about human needs to provide a small and private space on the side of a test chamber so I could take care of things, but I highly doubted Wheatley had gone that far to study bodily human requirements. 'At least we're almost at our goal. GLaDOS will _finally_ be put down for good, Aperture Science will fade into distant memory, and I can finally have a normal life again…what qualifies as normal for people anyway?' I puzzled, glancing at my project. If memory serves, I've been here since I was…eleven? Twelve? Long enough to lose track.

"Ah! Good, you're back. I was worried for a moment there. Did you go to say goodbye to your little turret friend?" Wheatley asked innocently. Good thing the little robot was here to talk to; even if he wasn't human, having something to talk to and get a response from was fantastic and kept me from feeling as insane as I probably was.

"Yes." I lied. 'I went to wish him a fond farewell and to make sure he picks the extra crappy turrets. It's not like I had any need to use the bathroom or anything.' I decided to keep that comment to myself and took a few gulps of water before sitting down, picking up one of the spuds from the night before, slicing it open, and digging in. "So," I said with a mouth full of spuds, "wh-what's today's p-plan?"

"Well, since we took out her turrets last night, we should head straight to the neurotoxin generator and take that out before heading off to take Her out." Wheatley said as I maneuvered his round body to sit in front of mine, "She won't have any turrets or neurotoxin, you have proven to be proficient with the portal gun, and once we take Her down, I can be plugged in and then call that escape lift." I nodded and thought about his plan myself.

'It's not bad,' I thought, 'There are a few holes, but if taking her on is anything like it was before, I should be okay and so should Wheatley.' Then I thought back to how my escape ended up. I was so close back then, all I needed to do was crawl away from the machine and into the forest and I'd be home free. But then there was the party escort robot; I never did see the thing, but I assumed it was very large and strong enough to drag me safely back into the facility and set me up in a relaxation chamber. 'It shouldn't happen again.' I thought sternly, 'Wheatley will be in control and we both can get out. Gotta stay positive.' As soon as I finished my breakfast, I tucked away a few potatoes in the pouch on my backside, created by tying my sleeves around my hips, and used the portal gun's tractor beam to lift Wheatley back onto his rail and he lead the way along a hallway and down a flight of stairs.

"Ha! I knew we were going the right way!" Wheatley said proudly as we came upon the largest cylindrical…thing I had ever seen with some smaller tubes coming off the towering device. "This is the neurotoxin generator. Bit bigger than I expected. Not going to be able to just, you know, push it over. Have to apply some cleverness." I could only agree; this generator could probably fill the whole Aperture facility twice over with all the neurotoxin this thing could generate. I guessed GLaDOS would have done that a while ago if she weren't such a sadist, thank goodness. "There's some sort of control room up at the top. So, um, let's go here and investigate." I followed along and went through another set of doors and found myself in what looked to be a multi-tasking space where "good" turrets landed in a grinding incinerator and panels were cut in half as they were carried along in front of a laser discouragement beam.

'Sometimes I wonder why some rooms are where some rooms are.' I thought, the laser giving me an idea. I zapped a blue portal on the other side of the panels and in the path of the beam and waited for the right time to place the orange one.

"I'll be honest Chell, I have no idea why She has this room so close to the neurotoxin generator, but…well, it is Her facility." Wheatley explained lamely. I shrugged and rode the elevator up to the second level and paused as the door to the control room wouldn't open. "I'm afraid the door's locked. Just checked it. No way to hack it as far as I can tell." Looking around for any means to open the door, I spotted a brilliant red button that just begged to be pressed. I figured it would be better than not doing anything at all and pressed it. "The mechanism must be on the-WHOA WHAT ARE YOU DOING WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT BUTTON-oh, the door's open! Well done. Let's see what's inside."

'Yeah, you think I'm brilliant, but all I did was push a shiny red button.' I thought, entering the area. Wheatley went into a small room where a very large tube, probably filled with the evil AI's favorite means of biological life form destruction.

"Good news! I can use this equipment to shut down the neurotoxin system." Wheatley said, "It is, however, password protected. AH! Alarm bells! No. Don't worry. Not a problem for me." I left the bumbling robot to press digital button and fiddle with the controls so that I could explore the control room. Unfortunately, the screens were all off and no amount of key-smashing was going to turn them back on. I turned and looked back at the generator, watching as one set of white panels rode a rail upward and another set ride horizontally along the ceiling…wait a minute.

'GLaDOS, say goodbye to your neurotoxin.' A scheming smile spread on my face and I aimed the portal gun at the panels heading up, firing an orange portal at the first panel to appear out of the bottom chute. As I expected, the laser flew through the blue portal I left earlier and now was slicing four of the eight tubes that connected the generator to the rest of the facility.

"Do you smell neurotoxin? Hold on! The neurotoxin levels are going down. So whatever you're doing, keep doing it!" Wheatley shouted, "Wait! Something's wrong! Neurotoxin level's up to fifty percent! No, it's down. Sorry, my mistake. I meant to say it's down to fifty percent. Good news! Carry on Chell!" At first Wheatley had worried me, but now I felt emboldened and carefully aimed my gun at the other panel chute. Once I shot off the orange portal, the red-hot laser blazed through the other four tubes and then it was done. GLaDOS's turrets were all crap and now her neurotoxin was disabled; I knew she was crippled, if not ruined. "That did it! Neurotoxin at zero percent! Brilliant work, Chell!"

"Hell yeah." I said in triumph posting my left hand on my hip and resting the portal gun on my shoulder. Then, my mirth disappeared as alarms sounded and the whole area seemed to rumble, violently relieving me of my triumph and replacing it with massive concern. Very loud BANGs resounded from the generator and I stared as the pipe leading from the cylinder and through Wheatley's room started to collapse on itself shortly before the whole towering generator better resembled a mashed soda can than a death machine. Soon, the pipe wrenched free and I watched as Wheatley struggled to hang on to his rail in the massive suction coming from the glass tube.

"HA! The tube's broken! We can ride it straight to her!" Wheatley shouted.

"Are you s-sure?" I shouted over the suction as I stood on the other side of the glass wall that separated me from my spherical partner in crime.

"Yes Chell! I'm positive!" Wheatley yelled, his rail creaking under the massive pressure. Suddenly the doors gave and I braced myself as the suction started pulling on me. "I can't hold on! Come on!" Trusting the robot had so far proved fruitful, so, taking a leap of faith, I jumped into the room and was swiftly dragged into the tube right after Wheatley. Scared, I reached out in the black and grabbed hold of one of Wheatley's handles as we flew through the tube. When we came out to a lit up space in the facility, I let go of the little robot and stared out at the enormity of Aperture Science.

"Wow…" I muttered. There was little more I could say.

"This should take us right to her. I can't believe I'm finally doing this!" Wheatley said, sounding a lot like a kid in a candy store and whirling his body around, "Woooo! I KNEW this would be fun! They told me it wasn't fun at all, so they say 'it isn't fun at all', and I BELIEVED 'em! Ah! I'm loving this! Whale of a time!" I had to admit, it _is_ fun to ride around in this tube. It's like riding on a roller coaster and on a water slide at the same time. Maybe when we take down GLaDOS, Wheatley and I can take another ride before leaving. "This place is huge. And we're only seeing the top layer. It goes down for miles! All sealed off years ago, of course." Miles? Dang, this place is BEYOND massive! "We should be getting close! Ohh, I can't wait to see the look on her face. No neurotoxin, no turrets-she'll never know what hit her!" It was an exciting prospect, indeed.

"Uh…Wh-Wheatley?" I asked, looking at an upcoming intersection between tubes.

"Oh…uh…hold on, hold on now. I might not have thought this next part COMPLETELY through." As we grew closer, I moved to grab hold of Wheatley, but before I could grab his handle, he had zoomed off to the other tube and I lost sight of him. The last I heard of him before I landed on the other side of a wall was "Get to HER! I'll find you!"

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><p>I should have known better than to fall into GLaDOS's trap like that, but there was no other way around it. I was trapped in a hallway with a who-knows-how-far-down-it-goes fall and only one portal-accommodating surface within reach. I zapped a blue portal at the surface and an orange one beside me and determined the small enclosed space was most definitely a trap, but what choice did I have? And now without her turrets or neurotoxin, GLaDOS was nigh powerless, so I jumped through and found the one "door" in the room was a wooden plank that led to nowhere. Crap.<p>

"I honestly, TRULY didn't think you'd fall for that." Oh be quiet. You didn't exactly give me a choice, GLaDOS. "In fact, I devised a much more elaborate trap further ahead, for when you get through this easy one. If I'd known you'd get captured this easily, I would have just dangled a turkey leg on a rope from the ceiling." As offended as I was, I probably would have gone for the turkey leg if I didn't have a pouch full of six…make that five potatoes; I must have lost one in the neurotoxin tube. Trapped in the box, the floor opened up beneath me and forced me into a small glass chamber which, for some reason, housed a toilet and nothing else. The glass room slid along a rail that lead directly to her chamber and the panels opened to the side, unveiling GLaDOS little one would unveil a gilded treasure, only she was much more vicious than even her imposing frame insinuated.

"You think I'm st-stupid GLaDOS?" I asked once the room had stopped.

"Oh, not really. Just badly brain-damaged. It was nice catching up with you. Let's get to business." She said casually, "I hope you brought something stronger than a portal gun this time." I readied my weapon and stared at the machine. I was given plenty of time to master the portal gun, a tool to beat all tools, what was better than that? Oh yeah. A partner in crime to help destroy an enemy's weaponry. Speaking of which, where was Wheatley? "It's unfortunate, you were the first and will apparently be the last president of the Being Alive club. Ha ha." I saw several claws descend from the ceiling, turrets in their grasps, "Seriously, though. Goodbye." I smirked as one by one the turrets, including one that was stuck in a box, proceeded to light on fire and explode, weakening and cracking the glass walls.

"Wh-what now G-GLaDOS?" I asked, a smug smile on my face.

"Hmm…it seems that you were busy back there. Well, I suppose we could just sit in this room and glare at each other until somebody drops dead, but I have a better idea." She definitely had a sharp edge to her simulated voice, and she seemed confused for all of two seconds before her irritation returned and she was ready to bring out her favorite, and currently useless, gaseous weapon. "It's your old friend, deadly neurotoxin. If I were you I'd take a deep breath. And hold it."

'Oh no! Neurotoxin! What am I going to do?' I thought sarcastically, as the glass tube punched through a higher part of the glass wall and showered glass over me. I heard dull thumps and the characteristic voice of my best robotic friend as he tumbled through the tunnel.

"Agh! Enh! Ow! Ungh! Ugh! Gah! Doagh! Agh! Ow! Hello!" He was awful cheery for taking such a tumble and rolling through the damaged glass walls, and boy was I glad he showed up like he promised. I picked him up with the tractor beam and dashed out of the glass chamber into GLaDOS's. I kept a close eye on her and Wheatley as she hung menacingly from the ceiling and Wheatley sparked more often; his cracked optic made him look even more pitiful.

"I hate you so much." The supercomputer meant it, I know she did, she just didn't include the raw malice to her voice.

"Warning: Central core is eighty percent corrupt." The announcing voice rang out over the speakers. I wondered about this corruption, maybe Wheatley could tell me when this mess is over.

"That's funny. I don't feel corrupt." GLaDOS commented, "In fact, I feel pretty good."

"Alternate core detected." The voice said.

"Oh! That's ME they're talking about!" Wheatley said excitedly.

"To initiate a core transfer, please deposit substitute core in receptacle." The voice instructed as a port, similar or perhaps the same as the one from the breaker room, appeared from the floor. I looked from the receptacle, to GLaDOS, and then to Wheatley.

"Core transfer?" GLaDOS asked, "Oh, you are kidding me."

"You s-sure ab…about this?" I asked my friend. He answered with a nod and I promptly plugged Wheatley in to the port and stepped back as he was fastened in place and accepted as the substitute core. I watched as Wheatley answered yes to the announcing voice and GLaDOS gave a vehement "Nonononononono!" when Wheatley tried to volunteer her for the procedure.

"Stalemate detected. Transfer procedure cannot continue." The AI in charge seemed to swell proudly whereas Wheatley and I both seemed to reflect minor panic…until the voice continued, "Unless a stalemate associate is present to press the stalemate resolution button." These Aperture scientists thought of everything.

"Go! Go press the button!" Wheatley shouted as the panels opened up behind me to reveal the resolution button. It didn't look like anything special except that it was in a room of its own with a spotlight on it.

"Don't. Do it." GLaDOS commanded.

"Yes, do do it Chell!" Wheatley encouraged as I took a few steps towards the button. Unfortunately, GLaDOS surprised me by putting a panel up in my path and launched me back. I noticed the floor was portal-capable and two walls on either side of the button were also portal-friendly. Both of the cores argued and commanded and were driving me nuts with their constant banter. Risking a potential meal, I grabbed a potato out of my pouch and threw it as hard as I could, watching it splatter into chunks over GLaDOS's optic.

"SHUT UP!" I shouted at her, quickly firing the orange portal into the floor and the blue one into one of the walls. I was even more frustrated when GLaDOS summoned more panels to block my path and shot the orange portal into the other wall to get around the panels. Before the current AI in charge could stop me with more panels, I had pressed the button and heard GLaDOS scream. Whipping back at the two AIs and absently listening to the announcing voice, I watched GLaDOS spark painfully and go limp and Wheatley slowly descend into the floor. I walked towards the two and watched the transfer go over, my stomach twisting in nervousness.

"Wait, what if this hurts? What if it REALLY hurts? Ohhh, I didn't think of that." Wheatley said worriedly.

"Oh, it will." GLaDOS answered, "Believe me, it will." She was just as sadistic as ever, even when she might be enduring pain herself.

"Are you just saying that, or is it really going to hurt?" Wheatley asked, his worry even more evident, "You're just saying that aren't you? No, you're not. It is going to hurt, isn't it?" Then Wheatley disappeared into the floor and I heard him scream in pain. I rushed forward and froze as the floor beneath GLaDOS opened up and a red glow emanated as shields went up to hide the exact happenings of a core transfer. I covered my ears as I heard her scream. It sounded like a true horror-movie scream: she was terrified, furious, and completely helpless against the robotic arms that worked furiously behind the wall to, for lack of a better term, _decapitate_ her. I had fallen on my rear and scooted back frantically as one of the walls in front of me dropped and GLaDOS's _head_ fell to the floor with an unceremonious crash.

"Wowwwww! Check me out, Chell! We did it! I'm in control of the whole facility now!" I looked up and there was Wheatley, mounted where GLaDOS had been moments ago. He wheeled around and made the panels move with him; he looked fantastic being in charge, but I was still very much unsettled by GLaDOS's quick dismissal from command. "Whoa-ho-ho! Would you look at this. Not too bad, eh? Giant robot. Massive! It's not just me right? I'm bloody massive, aren't I?"

"Im-impressive." I said, finally coming to stand and stepping away from the former supercomputer AI. "You look da-dashing." I said the last part in good humor, the weight of this situation finally rolling over me. GLaDOS was no longer in charge, there were no worries with Wheatley to command everything, and I could finally, _finally_ see the surface again and live there as any other normal person. Freedom felt good. Freedom felt _really_ good.

"Oh, now I know you're just kidding with me." Wheatley said rocking around the room some more. "Oh! Right, the escape lift! I'll call it now." Suddenly an elevator appeared from the floor to my right and opened up. Wheatley continued speaking as I approached the lift, "Look how small you are down there! I can barely see you! Very tiny and insignificant!" He wasn't calling me fat at least, but calling me tiny and insignificant put a dent in my self-esteem. When I stepped into the elevator Wheatley took the time to show off even more: making the panels dance, juggling a weighted cube, a companion cube and a turret, dropping confetti, speaking Spanish and possibly saying something about an incorrect software installation and consulting a manual.

'He certainly is having a ball being in charge.' I thought, leaning against the left glass wall. Then the lift started to rise.

"This body is amazing, seriously. I still can't get over how small you are Chell! But I'm huge!" He then started to laugh lightheartedly and I wanted to join in…but then everything starts to go to hell from there. His laugh became dark, maniacal and very…GLaDOS, the room growing darker with him and the center of my chest grew colder with dread. "Actually, why do we have to leave right now?"

'No…Wheatley, no! Not you!' I thought desperately backing away from the door as far as I could and tensing my right hand on the portal gun.

"Do you have any idea how good this feels?" Wheatley asked, sounding crazed and a little more than mad, "I did this! Tiny little Wheatley did this!" In a way, yes, Wheatley did do this, but in another way…something else did this to Wheatley. The announcer said that GLaDOS was 80 percent corrupt…but was Wheatley now corrupt? A small and angry hiss sounded from outside the elevator.

"You didn't do anything." GLaDOS said, "She did all the work." It was true that it took me more effort, but GLaDOS really needed to shut up right now. Wheatley was a very emotional robot and if he got mad…I'd never seen him mad and I didn't want to.

"Oh really. That's what the two of you think, is it?" No! It was all GLaDOS! I think you're doing a wonderful job Wheatley! "Well, maybe it's time I did something like this." He then started to drag GLaDOS's head into the pit below him; I then felt an impulsive urge to save her from an undeserved fate.

"No, Wh-Wheatley!" I shouted, "She's just-"

"You be quiet." Wheatley ordered; it was sudden and very unexpected, even from a corrupted Wheatley, "You know what you are? Selfish. I've done nothing but sacrifice to get us here! What have you sacrificed? NOTHING. Zero. All you've done is BOSS ME AROUND." Now that was not true, I sacrificed plenty, including my health. Not only that, but _he_ bossed _me_ around and I followed him like a sheep follows its shepherd. Something was VERY wrong. "Well, NOW who's the boss? Who's the boss? It's me." He glared the most evil glare I had ever seen on a personality core and felt cold and clammy. Suddenly, a bell rang out and he returned to hovering over his pit as a claw rose from the pit and held…a potato battery? "See that? That is a potato battery. It's a toy for children. And now she lives in it."

'Dear god…what is this system doing to him?' I thought as I stared at the AI-turned-potato.

"I know you…" She said, barely a whisper in all the room, but the loudest whisper I had ever heard.

"Sorry, uh…what?" Wheatley asked, turning to focus on GLaDOS.

"The engineers tried everything to make me…behave. To slow me down." I didn't like where she was going with this, "Once, they even attached an Intelligence Dampening Sphere on me. It clung to my brain like a tumor, generating an endless stream of terrible ideas." I silently bade GLaDOS to shut up. And quick. Unfortunately, no such thing happened.

"No, I'm not listening! I'm not listening!" Wheatley said moving as far away as his new body could carry him.

"It was YOUR voice." GLaDOS continued.

"No! No! You're LYING! You're LYING!" This was getting bad.

"Yes. You're the tumor. You're not just a regular moron. You were DESIGNED to be a moron." She _really_ should not have called him that.

"I am NOT! A MORON!" Wheatley shouted, dashing GLaDOS and his claw arm against the glass of the elevator, nearly shattering the glass and forcing me to use my arms as a feeble shield, just in case. There was no way I could say anything to stop this mess.

"YES YOU ARE!" GLaDOS shouted at the top of her metaphorical lungs, "YOU'RE THE MORON THEY BUILT TO MAKE ME AN IDIOT!" Wheatley threw GLaDOS into the elevator and pieces of glass flew around the tiny space.

"Well, how about now? NOW WHO'S A MORON?" He yelled.

"P-please Wheatley!" I begged, leaning against the handrail, "Stop this!"

"Be QUIET! What do you know? You're just a bloody TEST SUBJECT!" He roared. I froze then, and he hammered on the roof of the elevator until I could only see his optic. This wasn't him, he'd always referred to me by name and only GLaDOS had ever called me "test subject". This wasn't my friend. This wasn't my Wheatley. A single tear slid down my cheek and for one instant, I thought I saw Wheatley again in that cold, blue optic.

Right before the floor gave out beneath me.

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><p>Why Wheatley? Why?<p>

I do love Wheatley and I never did think he was a moron. He was always clumsy, but charmingly so. I hate that he became a bad guy. :(

Next chapter coming in a few days, please leave a review before you go.


	8. Chapter 8

That's What I'm Counting On – 8

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><p>This chapter is very late. I know. I've just been occupied, no other excuse.<p>

Also, I never intended this to be a Chell/Wheatley fic, but if you want to take it that way, that's fine too.

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><p>I groaned and flinched as the pain started coming back to me. I had landed hard after that fall and thanked the scientists of Aperture Science a thousand times over for developing the long fall boot; I was tempted to rename it the <em>very<em> long fall boot. I had landed on my feet, as expected, but the wood planks I hit had knocked me off course and I tumbled down to the bottom of this pit, ending face up with the rest of me in a pool of old water. I had fallen for miles down that shaft and all that time GLaDOS had made snide remarks about putting Wheatley in charge and using her "slow clap processor" to emphasize her sarcastic comments.

'Speaking of GLaDOS…' I thought, glancing at what was above and around me. I spotted GLaDOS, still a potato, on top of a horizontal section of pipe with a black bird perched on top of her, pecking at her potato body. A small voice rang in the back of my head, 'Prometheus was punished by the gods…sent to the bowels of the earth…pecked by birds.' I remember that voice. The turret wasn't just different, it was an oracle. I wish I had heard more of its wisdom before it sent me off though. Soon the bird cawed and flew off with the now tiny GLaDOS in its clutches. A short while later I started getting up and limped a little because of a nasty bruise on my knee and all the other bangs and cuts I had received in my tumble.

"Surp-prised I'm a-alive." I said to myself. It was a marvel I hadn't broken my neck, or any other body part for that matter, and the worst I probably received were tiny cracks and massive bruises. My clothes were all drenched, unfortunately, but I had little choice in wearing anything else. Noticing the fire caused by the broken elevator equipment, I hobbled over and sat close enough to the fire to stay warm and dry off a little, but not close enough to burn. I pulled all the potatoes out of my pouch and counted four, apparently I had kept all of them in the fall, even if one looked a little flat and all of them were a little damp. If I played my cards right, I could make these potatoes last for four days, though I would be very hungry, and thanked the stars I had taken the time to eat my fill this morning.

When my shivers stopped and my clothes were mostly dry, I looked up at what was left of the elevator: it was lodged between two pipes and swung minutely, the light on the ceiling casting strange shadows as the fire before me made shadows of its own. I wondered exactly how far down I was and how exactly a bird of all things ended up down here; a rat or insects make sense, but a bird? I shuddered and noticed my fire dying down, making up my mind for me: I had to get going if I hoped to get out of this place and back to the testing area I was familiar with.

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><p>"It's c-cold d-down here." I stuttered, both from my prior brain damage, or whatever it was, and the cold of this dank and barren underground. I'd already travelled quite a distance in the skeleton of the old Aperture. I was miles from the sun and this place was picked clean by the looks of things, so the chances that they would waste precious energy and money to heat an underbelly they don't use were very slim, if at all there. As it was, I was cold and even though I zipped my jumpsuit up, the cold pervaded the range material, not to mention the potatoes made it an awkward fit. Eventually, I organized my potatoes so they would sit on either one of my hips and provide a little organic insulation for my core, but not much. I would still shiver quite a bit in the damp, stagnate cold; thank god there was no breeze to aggravate the cold air around me. After many "keep out" and "danger" signs, I rounded the last corner and paused at a breaker switch.<p>

'To switch or not to switch? That is the question.' I thought, hesitating a moment before completing the circuit and being temporarily blinded by the sudden input of light. Once my eyes adjusted, I was looking at the biggest hatch door I had ever seen and it was probably the biggest hatch door that ever existed. At least as far as I know. Approaching the door made it seem even larger as it loomed over me, but the two stations on either side of the door caught my attention as well. Curiosity piqued, I used the portals to get to the station on the left side of the giant hatch first and discovered another bright red button, this one labeled "". Next I used the portals to get to the other side of the door, finding the exact same type of button and operating system in the second station. Pushing the button in front of me, I watched as the timer above the button sprang to life and started counting down from five.

"M-must be a fails-safe." I determined. If one of either button was pushed, the door would not open on accident, but if both were pushed…the door would open and finally reveal what was hiding behind it. I set the orange portal directly behind this button and placed the blue one right outside the second station. Stepping through, I replace the blue portal behind the second button and pressed both buttons as quickly as I could, catching the timer at the last second. Suddenly the large space was dark again and loud sirens blared as the gigantic vault's door progressively released from the wall and rose on its hinges. I stepped out of the control box and stared at the massive door as it rose while the lights swiveled and blinked brightly, the darkness concealing what the vault door had guarded. When the door stopped moving, the lights came back on and I stared dumbfounded at the wall, my jaw slack and mouth agape: there were no special features, no fancy "do not enter" or "danger" or "keep out" signs, no nothing. The massive vault door was hiding a solid yellowish wall with a tiny average-sized door, an ancient fold-out chair and a knocked over folding table. I knew this place had a knack for surprising me, but this was the biggest letdown since my near-escape all those years ago. Deciding to get this over and done with, I approached and opened the comparatively tiny door.

'Why on Earth did they put a massive vault door with a failsafe dual-button security system if all they wanted to hide was this dinky little door?' I thought as I pushed the door open, revealing a small hallway with another door at the other end. When I pushed that door open, I saw what this place was hiding: a chamber, which I figured could easily hide a fleet of blimps (with elbow room), an ocean of acidic water and a huge shadowy shape which I figured was a rocky outcropping. There was what looked like a large elevator shaft off to the left and, seeing as the path only resumed on the left, I prepared to walk a long way in that direction. As I walked, the chamber shook and rumbled ominously, sounding like a giant, once-slumbering creature was growling at a tiny intruder dressed in an awkward orange jumpsuit and white-and-black boots. I shook the idea out of my head and hurried along, determined to get back to the top layer of Aperture Science as soon as possible and out of this unfamiliar and cold space, so uncomfortably far from the sun, I played with the idea that I was closer to Earth's mantle than the top side of the crust. I made my way along the available walkway and used the portals to get me through a battered and broken old door and into a short hallway that lead to a door activated by a switch to the left. I flipped the switch, went through the doors and nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard a voice loudly ring through this large…what to call it? A reception room?

"Welcome, gentlemen, to Aperture Science. Astronauts, war heroes, Olympians-" The male voice rang out, allowing me time to settle down and realize that the man's voice was just a recording. An exceptionally high-quality recording, for its time. "-you're here because we want the best, and you are it. So: Who is ready to make some science?"

"I am!" Rang out a female voice. She must like science to sound so enthusiastic. While I walked into the room I looked at all the rusty and dirty space in the room. A sudden and very loud clang scared me, causing me to jump and turn around as a part of the old, giant Aperture logo fell heavily to the ground, rattled on impact and made another obscenely loud clang as it completed its landing. I really needed to relax, being jumpy never helped me get through to GLaDOS's chamber twice. Three times if you count Wheatley guiding me there once.

"Now, you already met one another on the limo ride over, so let me introduce myself. I'm Cave Johnson. I own the place." The male voice said proudly, "That eager voice you heard is Caroline, my assistant." I stopped walking and glanced around, remembering the little oracle turret's words.

'Her name is Caroline…' I thought in the same tone and voice as the turret, 'That turret…maybe if I can fix this mess I can take the little thing with me. Save it from this terrible hell-hole.' I thought as Cave continued to speak, Caroline piping up now and again, and studying the space some more. There was a niggling familiarity in the back of my mind, I had heard something about these two before.

After a while, and a few attempts to refocus on the task at hand, I figured the only way out was a barely-lit platform with a door along its wall and I would have to use the rafters above to propel myself fast and far enough to reach it. Once I was up there, I looked down and regretted it: ever since I had first gotten my long fall boots, I've been wary of testing their complete strength and capabilities. This moment only reminded me of that and then of the massive fall I had taken a short time (was it short?) ago and came out of relatively unscathed. I shook my head and steeled myself before stepping off of the support girders, falling through a blue portal and sailing though the orange portal, the hole in the Aperture logo and slamming heavily into the wall beyond. Thankfully, I landed my feet on the wall and then flipped around as gravity took me to land on my feet on the floor. I went through the only door and found myself in a fairly extravagant welcoming hall with very old awards and pictures and a door that led to the elevator rig I saw earlier and stared at the distant walls and walkways beyond and above the tall rig. Absently, I wondered how the builders of this facility made this space possible; did they get their mitts on the largest set of underground caverns on the planet? If so, _how_?

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><p>After propelling myself through the air and coming to an area labeled with a blue "alpha", I found a dark area with a small control room and many large pipes. I entered the lit room and sat to rest for a short while, it had already been some time since Wheatley cast GLaDOS and myself down here; not long enough to make me obscenely hungry, but after my feast earlier today I felt like my stomach was going to be very angry very soon unless I took care of it. I set my portal gun down on my right, unzipped my lumpy jumpsuit and pulled out a smaller potato, broke it in half, and started to snack on the half in my right hand as I contemplated my situation.<p>

'I'm miles underground, my worst enemy has been defeated, my best friend became a megalomaniac, and now my only company is antique recordings of long-dead people. Lovely.' I thought, noting how little was left of my snack. 'I must be hungrier than I thought.' My stomach was not at all empty anymore, but it didn't feel full and would most certainly demand the rest of the potato for dinner before I go to sleep. Getting up from my break, I flipped the lever that governed the pressure of whatever flowed through the tubes and listened as engines warmed up and ancient fluid started to move through the equally ancient piping. The gate that barred the pipes from the control room swung open, allowing me to go through and properly study where I needed to go to progress through the room.

"Not g-gonna be too h…hard-d." I struggled to say, the loud room smothering my words. I placed the orange portal on the wall at the end of the walkway and studied the room before placing the blue portal higher up above some support beams that lead to a hole in the wall. Walking through the portals, I turned to the left and traipsed the walkway onto the large pipe and paused as I could feel the tube gently shudder as the fluids ran through it. I wondered what the fluid did as I walked along the pipe that, thankfully, lead to a catwalk attached to an old version of the current Aperture elevators, emancipation grille and all.

"They say great science is built on the shoulders of giants. Not here." the recording of Cave Johnson played, "At Aperture, we do all our science from scratch. No hand-holding." That's Aperture alright. I jumped onto the catwalk and when I stepped through the grille, the elevator shuttered and creaked upward, making feel a whole lot less sure about the functional capabilities of these antique objects. To distract myself, I thought back to the duo of strange voices; Caroline I chalked up to my friend the turret, but Cave Johnson…I vaguely remember something about that man. Maybe he visited the "bring your daughter to work day" class when I was a little girl. Maybe I can find more information about Cave and Caroline as I make my way back up to the top.

After all, the answer lies beneath us, but it won't be enough. I'll need to find GLaDOS for some answers.

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><p>This was a Chell-only chapter, very lonely, fairly short, and definitely late.<p>

Did that last bit sound cheesy? I'm sorry if it did.

That's all for this chapter! Please leave a review. :)


	9. Chapter 9

That's What I'm Counting On – 9

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><p>Sorry about the delay, I had trouble getting myself away from tumblr to write. If you want to find me, my alias on tumblr is transientday. It's new, so there isn't much there, but I'm building on it.<p>

Anyway, a few of you pointed out some things I had forgotten, didn't realize, or intentionally skipped over. To you I say, good job! You are smart and observant and will receive moist, delicious _cake_ at the end of the enrichment center testing track.

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><p>My nerves finally came to settle as the elevator shuddered to a stop and allowed me to exit. I suppose it's because Aperture's current <em>modern<em> elevators didn't so much as twitch as they smoothly sailed up or down the lift shaft. The old elevators I'd ridden on had so far shuddered and rattled every instant it was in motion; it all unnerved me greatly. I quickly stepped off the elevator into a very large and very dark chamber which didn't remain very dark for long at all as a blinding light switched on and forced me to stagger around blindly for a moment before my eyes adjusted.

"So d-damn bright…" I muttered angrily and approached a sign that indicated where I was at this point in the ancient testing chambers: the very beginning at the very bottom. If only I could find a conveniently placed lift to take me up to GLaDOS's…well, _Wheatley's_ chamber so I could talk and mime some sense into the little moron.

"Alright, let's get started." Cave's voice echoed around the chamber, "This first test involves something the lab boys call 'repulsion gel.'" I approached the testing chamber and took pause as the recording mentioned a tragically sad incident where a test subject was given blue paint instead of repulsion gel. I shook my head and stepped through the emancipation grille to see the chamber for the first time: a simple test chamber with a shallow pit full of old-looking blue 'repulsion gel.' Curious and confident in my boots, I jumped off of the first ledge and was surprised to be immediately bounced back higher than when I had jumped in and land on the ledge opposite of the starting space. A smile crept onto my face as I realized how fun the old Aperture would be.

"And no G-GLaDOS to t-tell me oth…otherwise." I said with a smirk before portaling up to a higher ledge, running towards the pit and allowing myself to drop onto the gel and bounce up to a higher ledge with a cube-release button on it. I pressed the old device and a cube did drop from a port in the ceiling, but it was different than the other cubes I had encountered thus far. When the cube hit the gel, it bounced up and landed on the starting ledge, forcing me to come off my high ledge and drop onto the ledge. I picked up the cube with the portal gun's tractor beam and studied its simple design: the rims on the cube were probably metal and covered in a black rubbery substance while the walls were made of what appeared to be tarp strung tightly onto the rims with a simple round yellow and black design in the middle.

Keeping a hold on the cube, I bounced to the opposite ledge and dropped the cube to make a portal to the higher ledge. When I deposited the cube on the large, square, red button, the door on the other high ledge opened, revealing an emancipation grille that hid the chamber beyond. I dropped back into the pit, bounced up and smoothly landed on the exit shelf before making my way out of the first chamber and onto the catwalk that led to another chamber.

"The lab boys just informed me that I should not have mentioned the control group. They're telling me I oughtta stop making these pre-recorded messages." Cave's recording played, echoing slightly as I walked up the stairway, "That gave me an idea: make more pre-recorded messages. I pay the bills here, I can talk about the control group all damn day." Right on, Cave. Give those scientists what-for. I paused and portaled myself around the old, broken walkways and into the next chamber, which was not much more difficult than the last test, but it did require timing and moments to pause and think. It would be an adventure returning to the surface.

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><p>I was worried when Cave's recording mentioned the effects of getting covered in repulsion gel, I took inventory of my current state and let out a sigh of relief: there was no gel on my person and I intended to keep it that way. 'I rather like my skeleton.' I thought as the elevator came to a stop at another catwalk that, I assumed, once led to another test chamber but now led to a pool of acidic waste, thankfully with a metallic platform right under the end of the broken pathway with some old and twisted girders leading to the bottom of another platform that itself supported a higher testing chamber. Piece of cake. Hmm…bad choice of words.<p>

"All these science spheres are made of asbestos, by the way. Keeps out the rats" Asbestos…fantastic choice of structure Mr. Johnson, "Let us know if you feel a shortness of breath, a persistent dry cough or your heart stopping. Because that is not a part of the test. That's asbestos." I shook my head and made my way to the pillars supporting the next chamber, teetering ominously on the girders as Cave's recording went on to detail how amusing older test subjects should find their situation. Soon, I had used the portals to take myself up to a platform slightly above what I assumed was the testing chamber and quickly moved through the portals into the space. "Ha! I like your style. You make up your own rules, just like me."

'Cave Johnson must have made it so test subjects would have to do some unorthodox chamber-to-chamber travelling.' I thought, deliberating how I would get through this chamber. The button next to me had a trail of blue lights that led to a tube sticking from the ceiling, remnants of blue goo around its rim that signaled this tube delivered repulsion gel to the chamber.

"Bean counters said I couldn't fire a man just for being in a wheelchair. Did it anyway. Ramps are expensive." The recording played. I assumed Cave Johnson either hadn't heard of equal-opportunity employment or he was just a spoiled jerk who did what he wanted because he had a fat wallet. I was tempted to lean towards the latter theory. Since my orange portal was right below the repulsion gel tube, I set the blue portal on the floor at the edge of a shelf and pressed the red button, allowing a large glob of repulsion gel to fall from the tube and through the portals. Moving quickly, I replaced the blue portal on a higher ledge, letting the first glob of gel splat onto the ground and another glob to fly through the portals and land on the higher ledge. I replaced the blue portal again to the floor in the middle of the room so gel could harmlessly fall back and forth through the portals.

'Easy enough.' I thought as I walked over to the first blot of blue gel and jumped onto it, then the one on the higher shelf and finally I landed firmly on a third ledge. 'Yikes! I guess I shouldn't go sailing around here willy-nilly.' I thought, glancing at the close edge that opened to the murky waste far below. I went back towards the main part of the chamber and watched a blue glob fly up and then fall back through the portal. I pointed the portal gun at the ledge across from me and fired when the glob of gel came up from the floor again. The first glob landed with a wet slap in the middle of the room and another collection of gel dropped from the tube. I quickly moved the blue portal out from under the blob to a space on the main floor so the repulsion gel would stay a good distance away from me.

I then jumped off of my ledge, bounced off of the puddle of gel in the middle on the main floor, bounced off the gel on the ledge across from me and landed on the other side of an emancipation grille. I had never quite known why, but every time I went through an emancipation grille, I would shudder and the portals would disappear. I shrugged at my wonderings and placed an orange portal on the slanted panel in front of me. I walked around on the high walkway and placed a blue portal below the gel tube, causing another chunk of gel to sail through the air and land on the edge of the shelf I was on earlier. Looking further along that direction, I frowned as I realized I'd have to put my faith in the gel and my trajectory if I was going to exit the chamber.

"I hate th-these kinds of j-jumps." I said as I pointed the portal gun at the floor below me and fired the blue portal to land there. I took a deep breath and let it out again before dropping through the portals and flying through the air, thankfully landing on the patch of repulsion gel and heavily landing on the exit ledge after a moment of panic for flying through the air. I paused to catch a shuddering breath, my left hand posted against the wall, as Cave's pre-recorded messages continued to play.

"Just a heads-up: that coffee we gave you earlier had fluorescent calcium in it so we can track the neuronal activity in your brain. There's a slight chance that the calcium could harden and vitrify your frontal lobe." The recording played as I thanked the heavens I hadn't been given any coffee, not that I would take any. It's supposed to be bitter isn't it? Far as I can remember, I've never liked bitter things. "Anyway, don't stress yourself thinking about it. I'm serious. Visualizing this scenario while under stress actually triggers the reaction." I am very, _very_ happy there was no coffee to drink. If there was, I might've tried it and ended up with a calcified brain.

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><p>I was almost out of this test chamber. Well, technically I was <em>out<em> of the chamber, but I needed to invent a path to the next, higher chamber. At least now I knew the gel could easily be washed off with water. I used the portals to shoot repulsion gel to the desired spot along one of the tall pillars and dropped down to a portal-compatible space, firing the orange portal below me and coming out high above to hit a patch of repulsion gel and then bounce over to a higher catwalk. Looking around, I realized the whole gel thing had gotten me fired up and my adrenaline was pumping, making heights look more like a thrill than a source of fear. The adrenaline also fueled me forward, putting my stomach's demands and my exhaustion on the backburner.

"If you're hearing this, it means you are taking a long time on the catwalks between tests. The lab boys say that might be a fear reaction." What catwalks Cave? I realized they must've been around while he was, but I had no catwalks to make my travels through old Aperture any easier. As I walked through the emancipation grille, I studied the new chamber: a repulsion gel tube in an alcove to the right, a water tube to the right, a square red button near the middle, and a cube in a glass box with a metal grate above it hanging in the middle of the room. "I'm no psychiatrist," I'm certain he never was, "but coming from a bunch of eggheads who wouldn't recognize the thrill of danger if it walked up and snapped their little pink bras, that sounds like projection." Ha! "THEY didn't fly into space, storm a beach, or bring back the gold. No sir, we did!" _We_, Mr. Johnson? "It's you and me against the world, son! I like your grit! Hustle could use some work, though. Now let's solve this thing!" I was starting to like this Cave Johnson. Too bad he's dead.

"Let's s-see…" I said, choosing the box as my first objective, and feeling a little curious, I placed an orange portal below the stream of repulsion gel and the blue above the box. I quickly moved the orange portal as the cube bounced violently around the glass box, cracking the glass until it shattered. I shouted in surprise and ducked as the cube made a bee-line for my head, bouncing around like a ballistic rubber ball with a penchant for my skull. After dodging and jumping around to avoid the rogue cube, I managed to catch the cube in the portal gun's tractor beam, stilling it immediately. Deciding that I didn't like having a cube bounce around forever, I cleaned it off in a stream of water, turning it back to its pristine white and black before setting it on the ground beside me.

I considered the red button and followed the trail of lights to what looks to be a platform elevator, unfortunately too high for me to easily jump onto. Using the portals, I made a patch of blue goo on the ground in front of the elevator and set the cube on the button. The lift lowered and I bounced onto it before placing the orange portal above the button and the blue portal below the stream of repulsion gel. The lift immediately rose as the cube bounded up and off the button, resuming its ballistic bouncing mission. I turned and walked along the catwalk exit towards another elevator, which fortunately started up and moved smoothly compared to the prior elevator rides.

"Science isn't about WHY. It's about WHY NOT." Cave Johnson's recordings continued. I absently wondered how many of these things Cave made. "Why is so much of our science dangerous? Why not marry safe science if you love it so much?" That line was suspiciously similar to when GLaDOS made me euthanize my cube companion, "In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you on the butt on the way out, because you are fired." What? I'm not getting paid. "Not you test subject, you're doing fine. Yes, you. Box. Your stuff. Out the front door. Parking lot. Car. Goodbye." Wow Cave…harsh.

'Is it just me,' I thought, 'or is Mr. Johnson just a _little_ bit crazier than he leads on?' I pondered this and where I was exactly in the facility. I'd definitely risen several hundred feet, maybe a thousand or so, and I was still in the oldest parts of the Aperture Science testing facility. I wondered exactly how far I had fallen and how far I had risen, but could never concoct a good formula to calculate where I was in this place. When the elevator eased to a stop, I stepped out of the elevator and onto the catwalk looking around and noting where I was versus where I am; I was definitely at least a few thousand feet up from before.

"As founder and CEO of Aperture Science, I thank you for your participation and hope we can count on you for another round of tests." Sure Cave, just let me take a nap beforehand. Curious and tired, I walked along the hallway in front of me and decided to take a rest and sleep on…a couch! Oh God, I missed couches! And soft surfaces in general. The bed I slept on was pretty rotted out, but the chairs looked almost pristine. Old, but almost pristine. And it was warm in here, so I was sold. "We're not gonna release this stuff into the wild until it's good and damn ready," the recording resumed as I set myself on the couch, put the portal gun on an end table, and popped off the long fall boots to rub my sore and tired feet, "so long as you keep yourself in top physical form, there'll always be a limo waiting for you. Say goodbye, Caroline."

"Goodbye, Caroline." I laughed a little at the woman's voice. I wondered if Caroline was a scientific assistant or just a pretty face that Cave was keeping around. Putting my feet up, unzipping my jumpsuit, and grabbing half of the potato I had eaten earlier, I decided it was the latter. When I'd finished eating, I zipped my jumpsuit back up and curled up on the couch, taking a proper sleep for the first time in the past few days.

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><p>While writing this chapter, I looked at the length of my other stories and found this one is currently my longest and most popular. Yay! :D<p>

Anyway, yes. Progress. For those who played the game, you know who's coming along in the next chapter.

Please leave a review! I love hearing opinions.


	10. Chapter 10

That's What I'm Counting On – 10

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><p>I'm on another marathon typing spree. I'll be working on the next chapter immediately after submitting this one.<p>

Oh, and be forewarned, there are some gruesome details in this chapter. Should I up the rating? I only have a gruesome depiction, no violent actions. Screw it, I'm upping the rating. Better safe than sorry.

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><p><em>I've never seen the testing chambers so dark before. I can barely even see my hand only inches in front of my face it's so dark. The white panels did nothing to reflect any light around the room either, which made my situation…impossible. Unless I crawled around and felt for potential pit traps or levers or elevators, I was blind. And the worst part of it all? The portal gun wasn't working, its lights flickered and its body sparked so terribly I couldn't hold it without risking burning myself. There was nothing I could do, so I allowed myself to fall on my side on the floor to at least let myself rest.<em>

"_Bloody hell, looks like the portal gun will have to be repaired." A voice rang out around me. Was that Wheatley? "Can't have you lost in the dark forever, eh Chell? Don't worry, I'm on my way. I'll find you!" Yes! It was Wheatley! I haven't yet been so happy to hear my round robotic friend._

"_Wh-Wheatley?" I asked hopefully as a soft whirr sounded behind me and a soft grind of metal on metal signified he was on his rail. Soon a soft white glow came around the corner and blinded me for a moment; he had his flashlight on at full blast. "Wheatley, pl-please turn your light aw-way. It's t-too b…bright." When the light continued shining in my face I spoke again and shielded my eyes from the light. "Wheatl-ley? T-turn the light-"_

"_It seems you aren't as clever as you think you are, luv." I heard him say as the room lit up around me. I was in his chamber again. He hovered menacingly from the ceiling, twice the size I had seen him before and his optic glowed an icy blue while the panels and wires on his "body" glowed an ominous, evil red. "You're just a tiny, insignificant _testsubject_ in the end, aren't you? No friends, no family…heck, your real parents even abandoned you. You're pathetic." This wasn't the same Wheatley I'd become friends with, not even the same Wheatley that plunged me into the depths of Aperture…and it terrified me. I backed away quickly, but stopped as something bumped into me from behind._

"_You've doomed us all…not even an AI can survive in this place for long. What made you think _you_ could?" A voice said behind me, it was GLaDOS's voice, but when I turned around, I felt sick. Before me lay two pieces of a woman; her body, dressed in an Aperture Science test subject's uniform, was near the far side of the room, sprawled in a painful and twisted position, her body black and blue and, most of all, _red_. "You are a horrible person, Chell." The dismembered head whispered in a distantly familiar voice; her eyes were accusing and guilty at the same time and her bloodied teeth were revealed as the mouth snarled. Her head was laying on the left side, her neck was shredded with a trail of blood leading from in between the woman's shoulders to her dismembered head. Her mouth and nose oozed lumpy and fluid dark red blood, mixed with mucus and saliva. I didn't recognize the woman at first, but her dark ragged hair and pale silvery eyes told me who she was. My eyes widened and I found myself incapable of breathing, my throat felt constricted and raw and I felt sick. Unbearably sick. _

_I realized I was staring at _my own_ corpse._

A scream violently ripped its way through the ancient Aperture Laboratories and scared me out of my disturbed slumber. I felt around my neck and started to slow my racing breath and heart rate; I was alive and it was only a nightmare. At some point in my sleep, I had rolled off the couch and landed on the colder linoleum floor and judged that the sore spots on the side of my head and arms were because of the tumble. I remembered my dream and gave a choked sob, my stomach flipping, and wrapped my arms tight around myself as I curled into a fetal position. There was no way that dream was real, but it was the scariest dream I had in a very long time.

"N-not real…" I whispered to myself, "It wasn't r-real…" but it felt so real. And that scream was real too, it continued echoing in the distance and I'd wondered if it was one of those recordings. I choked out another sob and lay on the floor for some time; I knew the scream was my own, but I never wanted to admit that I was that scared. First, though, I'll calm down and try to forget this nightmare.

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><p>It was several hours before I'd moved on after my nightmare. I had no appetite and so saved my squished potatoes for when I felt like eating again, currently however, dropping from great heights and sailing through the air had left me uncomfortable. I flipped two switches, one blue and the other orange, and triggered two pump engines to start; I knew one held the repulsion gel, but I wasn't sure of the second one. Maybe Cave had another type of gel developed in Aperture's fossilized structure and if he did, I wonder what it was. When I walked through another door, I paused and studied the massive room around me. High above was a gigantic metal sphere surrounded by metallic supports and…an elevator sticking from a part of the structure, which meant that if I wanted to go up, I had to get to that elevator…somehow. The walls around me looked ruined. Not untouched and old as the last parts of Aperture looked, but ruined as in battered and damaged before growing old. Part of it looked to be structural problems, so that might've been it.<p>

"Greetings friend. I'm Cave Johnson, CEO of Aperture Science – you might know us as a vital participant in the 1968 Senate Hearings on missing astronauts." I silently thanked the recordings for continuing to play; they would help me get my mind on track, but it troubled me when he mentioned "missing astronauts". I vaguely remembered hearing something about missing astronauts, but I was a little girl then and it's been a _long_ time since. "And you've most likely used one of the many products we invented, but that other people have managed to steal from us. Black Mesa can eat my bankrupt–"

"Sir, the testing?" It was Caroline again, but she sounded different. Older and maybe a little more tired; maybe she'd grown a few years older? This part of Aperture must have been built quite some time after the first part, because though only a little had changed in Cave's voice, he sounded a bit more irrational.

"Right." Cave's voice continued as I used portals to get myself to a very high catwalk, "Now, you might be asking yourself, 'Cave, just how difficult are these tests? What was in that phone book of a contract I signed? Am I in danger?'" Yes Cave, do tell. I don't remember ever signing a contract, but if anyone were to ask, I would be able to detail every test thus far and maybe even reveal how they are all solved. "Let me answer those questions with a question: Who wants to make sixty dollars? Cash."

'Sixty?' I thought bitterly, 'I wouldn't do any of this Aperture stuff for less than six thousand. Make that sixty thousand.'

"You can also feel free to relax for up to twenty minutes in the waiting room, which is a damn sight more comfortable than the park benches most of you were sleeping on when we found you." Park benches? Cave was using hobos for his tests? I shook the thought from my head and placed an orange portal on the ground below me and a blue portal on the right side of a pipe on a slanted wall. This would carry me to the control room to my left, at least I think it would, and maybe I could find a switch or button that would get me to that elevator across the way. "So. Welcome to Aperture. You're here because we want the best, and you're it…Nope. Couldn't keep a straight face." Well, that sounded mean. "Anyway, don't smudge up the glass down there. In fact, why don't you just go ahead and not touch anything unless it's test related."

'Somebody had a superiority complex.' I thought as I stepped off the catwalk, fell through the portals and flew over to my target, the control room. Everything in the room seemed quite average, until an unrecorded voice rang out.

"Oh hi." Oh no, "Say, you're good at murder. Could you – ow – murder this bird for me?" It _was _GLaDOS and my eyes turned towards a glass cubicle to see a large black bird staring at me. I stayed still and the bird returned to pecking at GLaDOS's potato body, inciting an "ow" from the AI every time. I sighed and weighed my options: save GLaDOS and potentially make an ally out of an old enemy, or let her be pecked to death and have to face off with Wheatley without a reasonable AI to take over and _somehow_ make my way out before Aperture blew up. The former option sounded more pleasant, not to mention more likely. I jogged into the room and shooed the bird away, it cawed in annoyance and flew off, leaving behind a pecked and battered potato GLaDOS…ha ha…POTaDOS. "Oh! Thanks." She said, a quake and a loud rattling resounding through the large space, "Did you feel that? That idiot doesn't know what he's doing up there. This whole place is going to explode in a few hours if somebody doesn't disconnect him."

"A-and that would-d be m-me." I said, folding my arms in front of me and leaning back against the glass wall. She paused for a moment and I imagined her giving me a dull "of course, what else was I insinuating?" look.

"I can't move. And unless you're planning to saw your own head off and wedge it into my old body, you're going to need me to replace him." My hands tightened and my heart rate increased as I stared at the spud before me, the image of my decapitated body in Wheatley's chamber…I shivered and looked away from GLaDOS. "We're at an impasse." It was some time before I responded, but I took a breath and stepped away from the wall, unfurling my arms and putting the dream back down in my subconscious. GLaDOS hasn't seen me panic before, and her seeing it in this time and place…she'd never let me live it down.

"N-no." I said quietly.

"What? I can't hear you." She said, "Speak louder. this potato battery makes it hard to hear."

"We are n-not at an imp-passe." I said louder, a little irritated at the AI-turned-spud, "You n-need me to c-carry you. I need y-you t-to take Wheatley's p-place."

"So, we're a team now?" GLaDOS asked, understandably skeptical. When I nodded a yes, she sighed and resumed speaking, "As much as I hate to admit it, we _have_ to be a team. Fine, you carry me up to him and put me back into my body and I stop us from blowing up and let you go." I scowled down at her and she looked blankly up at me. "What?"

"Y-you've lied bef-fore." I said, "Wh-what's keeping you fr-from lying now?"

"I am a potato battery," she began, "and in case you don't know, potatoes aren't particularly powerful for transmitting energy. Currently I am operating at 1.1 volts of electricity, so I _literally_ do not have the energy to lie to you." I knew the potato was a weak electrical conductor, but strong enough to apparently keep GLaDOS alive. I weighed my options again, but the option of taking GLaDOS with me to replace Wheatley still outweighed being blown up in a reactor explosion; even if I would test for a long time after, at least I would be alive. I sighed and nodded, reaching out to grab POTaDOS and causing my fingers to scrape against an oddly smooth surface beneath her. When I pulled her up, I looked at her and decided to have a little revenge before moving on. "OW! You stabbed me! What is WRONG with you?"

'I feel a little more even now.' I thought with a grin as the AI was skewered on the top claw of the portal gun. I glanced at the button GLaDOS was resting on and found it labeled "elevator control". How convenient. As I looked out at the large chamber, I saw a stretch of catwalk rise and attach to the elevator high above. I might be able to reach it if I flung myself through the portals.

"Hold on. Do you have a multimeter? Nevermind. The gun must be part magnesium…" GLaDOS said, more to herself than to me, "It feels like I'm outputting and extra half volt. Keep an eye on me: I'm going to do some scheming. Here I g-BZZZT" I stared at the spud as her yellow optic had dimmed and turned grey. Huh, she must have been thinking too hard. I carried her back out of the control room and got back up onto the high catwalk. My orange portal was still far below me on the ground and my blue portal was now high above me, hopefully high enough to fling me onto the elevator's catwalk otherwise…I would plunge into the grey dim pit beneath the testing chamber.

'Wish I had some adrenaline to make me jump quicker.' I thought with a sigh, 'I'm starting to get sick of these types of jumps.' Before I stepped off, however, GLaDOS sparked back to life, apparently having recovered from short-circuiting herself.

"Woah! Where are we? How long have I been out?" She asked, sounding confused and, dare I say, scared, "That extra half volt helps but it isn't going to power miracles. If I think to hard, I'm going to fry this potato before we get a chance to burn up in that atomic fireball that little idiot is going t-bzzpt." And again she was out. I concluded that thinking too hard and emotional reactions could trigger the potato-powered AI to short out and be silenced for a while. How long? I had no idea. I decided to step off the catwalk and sailed through the portals and the air before landing heavily on the catwalk leading to the elevator. I stepped into the lift and the doors shut behind me. I was carried into the test chamber and prepared myself to play my way through another set of tests to ascend to the newer testing chambers and, eventually, to Wheatley.

'I just hope he will change back…' I thought sadly; I didn't want to leave him behind. Even if he put GLaDOS into a potato and cast her and myself into this primitive Aperture facility…he was my friend. I wanted him back to the way he was before.

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><p>Oh dear that beginning…I never had a dream quite like that one, but I imagine even the mighty Chell would be disturbed by her own corpse cursing her in GLaDOS's voice.<p>

But yes, that's this chapter. Please remember to leave a review before you take off.


	11. Chapter 11

That's What I'm Counting On – 11

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><p>Thanks for all the reviews and encouragement! I've only got a limited amount of time before I will have to abandon my computer for my job, so I am going to finish this story as soon as I can!<p>

Marathon writing powers, activate!

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><p>"Did anything happen while I was out?" GLaDOS asked, the elevator finally stopping at its next destination. I shook my head "no" and stepped forward from the lift and towards yet another test chamber. Sigh. Aperture Science has no originality, even in the olden days of science they were entirely focused on testing with little regard to actual creature comforts for the test subjects.<p>

"The testing area's just up ahead. The quicker you get through, the quicker you'll get your sixty bucks." Cave's voice rang out. I didn't bother to respond to the recording, I was never interested in his damn imaginary money anyway, and stepped through the emancipation grille to study the new test chamber.

"Hold on, who-?" The little potato at the end of my gun began.

"It's C-Cave Johns-son." I answered, placing an orange portal above an outcropping and a blue portal to my left. "He m-made rec-cord…record-dings for t-test subjects." As I stepped through the portals, Cave's voice quietly spoke out, sounding like it was muffled, like he'd put his hand over the microphone so the test subject wouldn't hear it. It was loud enough, though, to at least understand what he was saying.

"Caroline, are those compensation vouchers ready?" He asked his, I'm assuming, secretary. I was surprised when Caroline's recording and GLaDOS synchronized their responses.

"Yes sir, Mr. Johnson…" GLaDOS petered out and I stared at the spud at the end of the portal gun, waiting for her to explain herself. "Why did I just-Who is that? What the HELL is going on he-bzzt."

'There goes my explanation.' I thought at the grey optic, 'Once she wakes up, I'll try to give her the easy explanation…not like I know much more than she does, but it may help a few things.' I aligned the blue portal below a tube covered in orange goop and the orange portal on a panel that lined up with a ramp that would, by my guess, launch me across the gap in the floor and into that open spot on the other side. Yikes, that's a small landing space.

I sighed and pressed the button next to me, releasing an orange goo (I wonder what it does) through the portals and laying a trail along the path between my orange portal and the ramp. I decided to press the button a second time for good measure: the goo must be prominent in finishing this test and I didn't prefer to trip over a missed spot. Thinking I'd need the button and the goo again, I placed the blue portal high above me and then jumped down to see what the goo did along with that big red button over there on the other side of the goo. The moment I set one foot on the goo, it sent me sailing forward a few feet. I stayed frozen on the patch of orange goo and waited for anything else to happen before taking another step and being pushed further along than I had intended.

'It's like walking on slanted glass!' I thought, relating the goo to the only thing I could think it resembled. Glass was a slick surface with very little friction and, after kneeling down to study the surface of the goo, I determined the orange streak across the floor propelled you along as if you were wearing skates. Then I remembered what one of the large tubes (labeled with orange) had the word "propulsion" written on it. 'Well, Aperture invented repulsion gel. It would make sense if they invented _pro_pulsion gel too.' I nodded at my discovery and stepped on the red button, triggering the ramp to rise when I stepped on it and fall when I wasn't on it. Satisfied, I shakily made my way over the goo and stopped myself on the outside rims of the orange portal before carefully turning around and taking what I think was supposed to be a skater's stance. I shrugged and pushed first with my right foot, then my left, and found myself zooming along the track of goo far faster than I thought I could go and ended up sailing off the end of the ramp and landing on the tiny shelf I was originally going for. I smiled and decided that this would be very fun.

I looked to my right and noticed another gap and placed the orange portal on the wall to my left. Stepping through, I placed the blue portal below the tube, again pressed the button that released the gel, and watched as the goo was generously painted along the floor of the hallway I was in before. I placed the blue portal above me again and jumped down to run along the first track of orange goo, off the ramp and then land in the second space. I set myself close to the orange portal and ran like a madwoman down the orange streak (I was getting good at this) and landed on the other side of the gap where I saw an old aperture cube trapped behind a sheet of glass, fortunately with a hole in the middle. I lined up my portal gun behind the cube and fired an orange portal before turning around and firing a blue portal, grabbed the cube with the tractor beam and pulled it through the portals. I dropped the cube and fired an orange portal at the hallway I was in before, carried the cube through the portals, dropped the cube again, placed a blue portal in the main chamber, and finally carried the cube through the portals to its final destination: the red button which then caused the ramp to rise and stay put.

'Looks complex, but it really isn't.' I thought as I lined up the blue portal with the first orange streak and carefully made my way through to the very end of the hallway I'd painted orange. I set myself and ran as fast as I could along the second trail of orange, through the portals, over the first orange streak and off the end of the ramp before landing heavily on the other side of the gap. This was more fun than the Aerial Faith Plates. Lastly I looked around for a way to open the door: it was a button way too high for even the repulsion gel to launch me. Thinking back to the orange gel, I placed the orange portal at the bottom of the jump, stepped through, and set myself up at the very edge of the ramp before running as fast as I could through the portals, launching myself high into the air, and pressing the button before landing beside the orange portal and smiling at the now opened door. 'If GLaDOS could see me now.'

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><p>"Great job astronaut, war-hero, andor Olympian! With your help, we're gonna-" Cave's voice rang out, obviously cut off at the end with a very sped up and garbled continuation of the message. After throwing myself through portals and the asbestos-laden air, I landed at a catwalk connected to another elevator, happy to get another lift closer to the surface. "This on? (thump thump) Hey. Listen up down there. That thing's called an elevator. Not a bathroom." I looked down self-consciously and cringed at the old stain on the floor where somebody decided they were too desperate to find a restroom. Thinking about it made me uncomfortable and I resolved to find another restroom as quickly as possible. I wasn't some kind of animal and I certainly wasn't going to drop my jumpsuit in the middle of a test, even to take care of _that_ kind of business.

"You humans are disgusting. Why would _anyone_ do something like that?" GLaDOS said, apparently having come back online at some point.

"Th-they must have been d-desp-perate for C-Cave to rec-cord that m-message." I said, wishing I could sanitize my long fall boots against the medley of feasibly dangerous things on the floors of these test chambers and elevators.

"But _still_!" GLaDOS argued, her light blinking furiously in the dark. I imagined her shuddering and cringing and then remembered something important: GLaDOS didn't cringe. At anything. Not blood, not dismemberment (not like I'd exactly know), and most certainly not at burning a person alive. Something was up with this potato. As the lift continued its dark and admittedly long rise to the next chamber, GLaDOS spoke again. "There's something strange about that man. Cave Johnson…I swear I know him." Immediately after saying this, the elevator emerged from the dark and revealed another test chamber. When I stepped out, the recordings started again.

"If you're interested in an additional sixty dollars, flag down a test associate and let 'em know." Cave's recording rang out and echoed over the massive inside of the testing sphere, "You could walk out of here with a hundred and twenty weighing down your bindle," What on Earth is a bindle? "if you let us take you apart, put some science stuff in you, then put you back together, good as new." No, Mr. Johnson, I'm going to have to deny your offer. I shook my head and walked along the catwalk, putting extra time to study this much more complex puzzle. This was probably going to take a while, so I decided to take a break and sit at the end of the catwalk and study the test some more before actually accomplishing it. I unzipped my jumpsuit, having found it much safer to carry my potatoes that way, and plucked out a slightly flatted, but decidedly fat potato. I broke it in half and took a large bit out one half.

"What are you _doing_?" GLaDOS asked frantically. I answered her with a calm and ambivalent "eating" which caused her to pause and scream out again when I took another bite. I stared at the AI and wondered what her problem was before realizing that _she_ was a potato: edible should I get desperate enough.

"You know G-GLaDOS," I started, a dark smirk spreading on my face as I swallowed the chunks of spud, "humans ev-ventually n-need to eat t-to stay al-live. And p-potatoes are edible." I looked at her as evilly as I could, relishing the power I held over the once-omnipotent AI. I waved the bitten half of potato in front of her optic, taunting her. "If I run out of p-potatoes, I can alw-ways eat y-you." GLaDOS then spouted a variety of pleads and begging and I began to feel sorry for her. She reminded me entirely of Wheatley. Where she once was the most powerful being in all of Aperture, she was now pathetic and helpless, relying on me to get her around to where she needs to go and safely at that. She, like Wheatley, could be easily destroyed by the AI in charge; heck, she could easily be destroyed by me, a lowly test subject. The mainframe must really do a number on whatever cores are plugged into it. I resumed eating the potato while GLaDOS continued to wail and beg and plead, making me worry she'd short herself out again. Eventually, I finished my snack and put away the remainder of my food before scooping up the portal gun and patting GLaDOS soothingly. "Don't w-worry." I said while her wails settled and became anxious silence, "I w-won't eat you. I p-promise." Eventually, GLaDOS settled down and I stood to walk down the steps of the catwalk, steeling myself for this difficult test.

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><p>After another thankfully smooth elevator ride, a main chamber was revealed; it looked a lot like the prior main spaces, only with less room horizontally and a lot of vertical space with a lot of white, portal-safe panels. If I wanted, I could explore this part of the Aperture underground and maybe have fun flinging myself around. Right now, though, I was much more inclined to listen to Cave's recording and step through another emancipation grille into the hallway beyond.<p>

"Thank you – I can't believe I'm thanking these people – for staggering your way through Aperture Science's propulsion gel testing." So it really _was_ called propulsion gel, "You've made some real contributions to society for a change, and for that, humanity is grateful." That comment was completely unnecessary Cave. You're the one encouraging your employees to pick hobos off the streets for inhumane testing purposes. "If you had any belongings, please pick them up now. We don't want old newspapers and sticks cluttering up the building." As I walked through the hall and turned the corner, I spotted a catwalk above me and placed an orange portal up there and a blue portal down at the bottom of another wall and stepped through while Cave's recording continued to play. "For many of you, I realize 60 dollars is an unprecedented windfall, so don't go spending it all on…I don't know. Caroline, what do these people buy? Tattered hats? Beard dirt?"

'What happened to that somewhat comical guy from before?' I thought with a slightly sour look on my face, 'He just seems like such a jerk now.' I shook my head and proceeded through the portals and onto the catwalk. The only way from there was through a door that, when opened led out into the main space I was in before. I jumped a little at the sound of the door slamming shut behind me and I realized, with some chagrin, that I was stuck.

"No turning back now." GLaDOS said. I sighed and nodded, placing an orange portal on the open space beside the door, which looked like it housed a door at some point, and I glanced around to find another space for my blue portal. There was a sign with "GAMMA" written on it with a yellow arrow below it pointing to the right. I looked that way and frowned at the drop from the broken catwalk before trailing my eyes up and thoughtfully pursing my lips as I spotted another place to put a portal. Aiming carefully, I shot off a blue portal and it landed on its mark, allowing me to pass through the portals and stand on the catwalk, again staring out at the expanse of the chamber. I looked around and smiled when I saw an open doorway connected to my catwalk, but I did wonder what lay ahead. "Caroline, Caroline, _Caroline_…why do I know this woman?" GLaDOS wondered, more to herself than me, "Did I kill her? Or – Oh my God."

"Wh-what is it?" I asked, thoroughly confused.

"Look, you're…doing a great job." Come again? "Can you handle things for yourself for a while? I need to think." Now that was unusual. She rarely fed me any comments, unless it was backhanded; she gave me plenty of backhanded comments. And handle myself? GLaDOS, I've been doing that since day 1.

'What on Earth is going on?' I thought, trying to piece together things I have found out so far. GLaDOS: she is a super-powerful AI currently imprisoned in a potato battery. Wheatley: he has gone mad with power and I need to find some way to snap the loveable oaf out of it. Cave Johnson: he is…er, _was_ the owner and CEO of Aperture Science for a considerable amount of time, how much I don't think I'll ever be sure. Caroline: she worked for Cave Johnson, is most likely his secretary, and strikes a chord in GLaDOS's memory for some reason. And me…I'm still in the dark. But if that little turret from the redemption line was correct, I'd get my answers soon enough.

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><p>This actually was written very fast. Just shy of 3 hours! I think it was easier to write because it's more of a turning point in the plot.<p>

The next chapter will be up soon. Please leave a review before you go!


	12. Chapter 12

That's What I'm Counting On – 12

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><p>This is just fantastic, writing this story and all. So much fun! So happy you all enjoy it!<p>

And for those of you who keep mentioning lemonade: no, I did not and do not drink lemonade. Never liked the stuff before, don't like it now. I am not a fan of lemons at all, so Cave's combustible lemon idea made me smile.

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><p>After landing on another chunk of catwalk, I was really getting sick of this dim old Aperture space, but the greatest highlight of the past while was finding GLaDOS's newfound fear of birds. She even called them evil! That was pretty funny in my own perspective, but I can imagine she was experiencing some simulated terror. I walked up the short stairway to another controloffice room, this one far smaller than I would think a control room would be. It was very clean with silvery-white walls and ceiling and a grey carpeting. Even the desks were grey. I would focus on how bland the room was if I didn't notice the stale and just plain odd smell of the room; I must have gotten used to the smell of the caves and testing rooms.

"Welcome to the enrichment center." Cave's recording played. He sounded hoarse and strained, not that his gratuitous coughing after the sentence did anything to help. "Since making test participation mandatory for all employees, the quality of our test subjects has risen dramatically. Employee retention, however, has not." I'm not surprised, Cave. Your tests are difficult for the above average joe and your scientists were out of their minds; brilliant, but out of their minds nonetheless. I walked through the barren and sterile space, dropping down into another office looking space and pausing to look at another portrait of Cave. After another round of coughs, the recording continued, "As a result, you may have heard we're gonna faze out human testing. There's still a few things left to wrap up, though."

'He looks so…stern.' I thought as I considered the portrait. It was exceedingly well done, but Cave also had an air of complete control over everyone…at least according to this portrait. 'What do I know? I'm not an artist or a genius.' After studying the image, I walked into a small control room with a red button on the wall. Seeing as red buttons have been good to me so far…for the most part, I pushed this one and opened a door on the other side of a room blocked from me by a wall of glass. Walking back by the portrait, I then walked into what looked to be an orientation room, out the door the button opened, and onto a catwalk that led to another elevator.

"The bean counters told me we literally could not afford to buy seven dollars worth of moon rocks, much less seventy million. Bought 'em anyway. Ground 'em up, mixed 'em into a gel." Cave's recording continued. So _that_ was the white goo I saw in the other room? Or am I just imagining things? Other than that, Cave didn't appear to be very responsible with his money. "And guess what? Ground up moon rocks are pure poison. I am deathly ill." Oh dear…that's…that's awful. "Still, it turns out they're a great portal conductor. So now we're gonna see if jumping in and out of these new portals can somehow leech the lunar poison out of a man's bloodstream. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." I was standing inside the elevator when Cave coughed again, this one thankfully lighter than the last few, and the lift smoothly carried me to the next space. "Let's all stay positive and do some science. That said, I would really appreciate it if you could test as fast as possible. Caroline, please bring me more pain pills." I felt sorry for Mr. Johnson, he must have died a very painful death. May he rest in peace.

The elevator came to a stop at another chamber, this time a space with a tube of white moon-rock gel dumping gratuitous gobs of white into an enclosed space. I used the portals to paint the room in the white gel…well, as much was necessary. I didn't need the spud at the end of the portal gun to whine about me wasting time to get back up to Wheatley. Nearly the entire floor of the room was painted white and two pillars rising high up have been almost entirely covered in white, making portaling myself around easy and safe. I didn't want to be exposed to the…what to call it? Conversion gel? Yeah, I like that. I didn't want to get covered in conversion gel. I could get moon-rock poisoning like the repulsion gel would eat at my skeletal structure, had I been covered in the goop. Standing on a catwalk at the top of a pillar, I set the orange portal on a slanted surface that would shoot me to another control room and the blue portal below me. I jumped through and landed heavily on another metal walkway, this one leading to yet another control room.

"Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons? Don't make lemonade!" Now that was a familiar line.

"Yeah." GLaDOS joined in, sounding excited at Cave's words.

"Make life take the lemons back!"

"Yeah!"

"Get mad!" Another familiar line.

"Yeah!"

"I don't want your damn lemons!" He was sounding very irrational, "What am I supposed to do with these?"

"Yeah, take the lemons…" GLaDOS would have resembled an excited child had she a body and face to express herself. I, however, resembled someone who would much rather be away, _far_ away, from a raving madman…which seems to fit my exact situation to a T. Why me?

"Demand to see life's manager!" Life's who now?

"Yeah!"

"Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am?" I started to feel outnumbered in this small hallway I was walking through. "I'm the man who's going to burn your house down! With the lemons!"

"Oh, I like this guy." You would, GLaDOS.

"I'm going to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!" Wouldn't that be an incendiary bomb?

"BURN HIS HOUSE DOWN!" GLaDOS shouted at the top of her spud-powered speakers while Cave's recording let out the sounds of Cave's struggling and raspy cough. "Burning people! He says what we're all thinking!"

'No, he says what YOU'RE thinking GLaDOS.' I thought. She sounded just as mad as Cave! Oh wait…she already was.

"The point is," the recording played, Cave having calmed down a bit, "If we can store music on a compact disk, why can't we store a man's intelligence and personality on one? So I have the engineers figuring this out now." He may be calmer, but he was no more sane than he was a minute ago. While he said this, I pushed open a door and stepped into a vertically massive space with several portal-friendly spaces. "Brain Mapping. Artificial Intelligence. We should have been working on this thirty years ago. I will say this – and I'm gonna say it on tape so everybody, hears it a hundred times a day." I would go crazy after hearing _that_ a hundred times a day, "If I die before you people can pour me into a computer, I want Caroline to run this place."

'He wanted Caroline to…run this place?' I thought, looking to GLaDOS for an answer; she stayed silent. I sighed and started placing a blue portal high up and an orange portal down near the bottom. I progressively moved up the space, Cave's recording playing the entire time I worked my way up.

"Now she'll argue. She'll say she can't. She's modest like that. But you make her."

'Make her?' I thought incredulously, 'You may be her boss, Mr. Johnson, but you can't make that kind of decision! She's a person!' I turned to GLaDOS again, silent as the grave, but things started making connections in my head and they wouldn't stop until I got an answer.

"Hell, put her in my computer, I don't care." He seemed so…callous about it. "Alright, test's over. You can head back to your desk."

"Goodbye, sir." She finally spoke and I had reached a box-like space. My head hurt, my stomach was growling, and I was ready to rest, so this looked like a stable place as any to rest up…and get some answers. I sat down in a corner and GLaDOS piped up again. "Wait, why are we stopping?"

"B-because I want ans-swers." I said sternly. The potato thankfully stayed silent so I could speak again. "Cave w-wanted to start b-brain map-pping. When was that?"

"I don't have the files in front of me so I can't –" I silenced her with a snarl, "Alright! Alright. Give me a minute to remember." So I did, and after a minute and a half (I counted) she finally answered. "Mr. Johnson wanted to rescue Aperture Science. The company was utterly bankrupt and the only chance the company had was to master brain-mapping."

"And?" I prodded.

"You remember that little moron and _my_ body." She said, "The scientists succeeded."

"So C-Caroline…she…" I said before the synapses in my mind created a complete picture for me. "She became the AI in ch-charge. She's…you." The potato stayed quiet for a moment before releasing the sound of a sigh and answering me.

"That…that is correct." GLaDOS admitted, "I didn't know myself until a while ago…when I asked you to take care of things for youself? That's when I realized who Caroline was." I sat there just staring at the spud before setting the portal gun on the ground to my right and turning my head towards the ceiling…the ceiling that was somewhere high above me, but it was there, it had to be. So now I knew.

'Her name really _is_ Caroline.' I thought, trying to recall everything the turret had told me. Get mad, check. Don't make lemonade, check. "Prometheus" was punished and pecked, check. The answer was indeed beneath us, check. Her name is Caroline, check. I remembered all of it…but I hadn't gotten all the answers I wanted yet. Why were Cave and Caroline so familiar? And why did it feel like I was missing something important?

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><p>I'd gone as high as the portals and white spots would carry me and I made my way through a pair of doors to yet another vertically massive space. It never made sense what Aperture could have possibly used these rooms for…except for maybe rockets, but I was pretty sure that these spaces didn't have the appropriate equipment to house andor build one. GLaDOS didn't know either, but she did try to at least speak to me more often. Maybe it was the Caroline in her.

"I know things look bleak," she started, "but that crazy man down there was right. Let's not take these lemons! We are going to march right back upstairs and MAKE him put me back in my body!" For once, I agreed with GLaDOS, especially if the facility exploding was another factor, because _we were still inside_. I placed an orange portal high up on a wall with a metallic catwalk on it and the blue portal on the ground in front of me, allowing me to drop through and land on the catwalk and get a better look at the space around me. "And he'll probably kill us, because he's incredibly powerful and I have no plan."

"That's c-comfort-ting." I said dully, mentally remarking how similar GLaDOS was to Wheatley in her current position.

"Wow. I'm not going to lie to you, the odds are a million to one. And that's with some generous rounding." Yep, I figured as much. Then again, the odds were in a similar stance when I first challenged GLaDOS: I went in without a plan, but ended up killing GLaDOS…kinda, and managed to survive the explosion that ripped her and her old chamber to pieces. We can do this. "Still though, let's get mad! If we're going to explode, lets at least explode with some dignity." I was beginning to wonder if she had knocked her processor loose. With a shake of my head and a sigh, I set the portals so I could drop through the rip in space on the portal-friendly patch of floor and launch myself through the confusing and broken pieces of old Aperture.

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><p>After ascending what felt like thousands of feet, painting a vertical cavern white with conversion gel, and portaling so many times I lost count, I was surprised to see myself in something of a tube hub where repulsion, propulsion, and conversion gel tubes wound about each other. It looked more like a cluster of giant, immobile snakes with some bloated sections, but the silence and slight breeze in the room was comforting compared to the many chambers below. This room also seemed more clean and advanced than some of the other chambers I'd been through, and most of the catwalks were intact. When I looked up, though, I saw something that could either be perfect to get me up to Wheatley or it would damn me and have me solve another crazy series of puzzles…or both. I wasn't sure, but opening the gigantic vault door in the ceiling was definitely my goal.<p>

"I think we're close to the testing chambers." GLaDOS commented. I nodded in agreement and glanced about to room for another…there it is. Another control room. Now, how do I get up there? There we go, there's a panel _way_ up there across from the room and there's a catwalk up over there with a portal-friendly spot on the floor. Perfect!

'Come on, Chell, keep on pushing, you're almost there.' I thought as I used the portals to get to the catwalk and set up another flying leap. Taking a confident jump off the catwalk, I fell through the portals and soared through the air towards the control room, landing solidly on the sturdy catwalk that led to the room. As I headed towards the shiny red hatch override button, GLaDOS spoke.

"Wait! I've got an idea!" Do tell, GLaDOS, "That poster! Go look at it for a second, would you?" Sure thing. Let's see: 'Know your paradoxes! In the event of a rogue AI'…oh, I know where she's going with this. "Paradoxes. No AI can resist thinking about them. I know how we can BEAT him." Fantastic, GLaDOS. Now just let me push the button. I swear, I've developed a craving to push as many bright red buttons as I possibly could. When I did, though, the chamber went dark and the hatch hissed and clunked loudly as dust was dislodged and expelled from the hatch. The latches on the sides released the door and its massive arm held firm, keeping the hatch door from falling into the chamber. As the door eased open, bright light from powerful bulbs was let into the space and a section of catwalk spun gently as it descended into the space and latched onto a raised walkway attached to the floor. Not only that, but as the elevator descended, three long tubes also descended into the space, smoothly attaching to the gel tubes. I stared as all of these events unfolded, the pipes making loud noises as the gel flowed upward into the newer Aperture.

I took a deep sigh of relief and stepped back into the control room, onto the control panel and leapt through the broken window, landing heavily and firmly onto the floor of the chamber. I jogged over to the raised walkway and stepped onto the lowered walkway/elevator. The safety gate shut firmly behind me and I was rising back into the Aperture I had grown familiar with during my testing imprisonment.

"If you can get me in front of him," GLaDOS said, "I'll fry every circuit in that little idiot's head. As long as I don't listen to what I'm saying, I should be okay. Probably." Oh, now that was reassuring. Hopefully she would short out before her potato body was blown up by thinking too hard about the paradox. The space the elevator stopped in was very wide and shrouded in a foggy darkness, but through it, I saw a set of stairs that led into another space I couldn't see from the floor. I walked over to the stairs and carefully stepped up them and turned a corner at the top that led to an open and twisting hallway. "Okay, so it's not the most watertight plan to go confront an omnipotent power-mad AI with. Still, it's a better plan than exploding. Marginally." I walked us through an emancipation grille and onto a modern elevator.

'It feels good to be riding this kind of elevator again.' I thought with a small smile as the lift carried GLaDOS and myself through a few floors before stopping at a usual elevator stop with a set of stairs that led to a once sealed doorway that easily twisted open when I gave the door a swift kick. The darkened hallway beyond seemed both familiar and strange. I wasn't sure why.

"Wait a minute…this isn't the testing chambers." I looked down at GLaDOS and looked around more thoroughly. She was right, the testing chambers usually were made up of hallways that directed you around like a funnel; this hallway had several doorways, each with a display beside it. As I walked carefully along the hall, GLaDOS spoke up again. "I know this place…it's the old relaxation center."

"Th-the what?" I asked.

"Remember the first time you did those tests? Where you started in a glass relaxation vault?" I definitely remembered that room, "This was where we used to keep them. This space was powered by its own generator, so this is probably the safest place away from that little idiot." As I walked along, I grimly noticed that all the chambers were either empty or their occupants had long since died. One screen however, had a blinking symbol that said "stasis active" beside the words subject status. This person was still alive.

"GL-GLaDOS, what's the c-code to bring s-someone from stasis?" I asked. The potato was quiet for a moment, but my desperate glare hurried her along. She then spouted a series of letters and numbers that I quickly typed into the keypad attached to the screen. When the series was done, GLaDOS instructed me to press the "enter" key which then triggered the status to change to "awakening subject" and the door hissed loudly as the air trapped inside the chamber was finally freed.

"I can't believe you're rescuing someone." GLaDOS commented as the door slid open and allowed me into the chamber. There was a toilet, a table, a silent radio, and a pristine and welcoming _companion cube_ than made me nearly tear up by its presence alone. "Odds are, this person has brain damage even worse than yours. He's probably been in stasis far longer than you have."

"Sh!" I hushed the potato as the glass over the pod bed slid open to reveal an older-looking man with scraggly black hair, a matching well-grown beard and weathered, slightly wrinkly and discolored skin. He was wearing a white, short, and tattered lab coat with the Aperture logo, a white – almost crisp – button-up shirt and white pants with a hole on the thigh and an ancient blood stain where he must have been shot be a turret. He wore large, well-worn black shoes and there was a black messenger bag around his body filled with papers; there were even papers strewn about the room which came loose as he probably frantically climbed into the pod. I jumped as I heard the man take a slightly raspy breath and hesitated to approach as he woke up, his eyelids opening to reveal strange, silvery-blue eyes; his left eye had a normal pupil size, while his right was enlarged. When his eyes looked at me, they widened and he let out a word that thrilled and terrified me at the same time.

"Chell…you're alive…" He said, a small smile on his face. Who was this man? And how _the hell_ did he know who I was?

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><p>Back and forth dialogue takes up a lot of vertical space. I also had Chell quiet for a while, it just didn't seem appropriate to have her speak during some chunks. Also, I'm sorry, but I felt I had to skip over a large chunk of Chell's travels. Nothing really happens, except for her climbing up and up and up…and that would have taken valuable writing and reading time which I know I don't have.<p>

Anyway, I have a TWIST in mind! I picked a twist I don't think a lot of people ever thought of. I started it at the end of this chapter and I'll continue it in the next. In other words: I am pulling away from the plotline! :D

Ahem…anyway, please leave a review before you take off. :)


	13. Chapter 13

That's What I'm Counting On – 13 – Re-rewritten

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><p>So, after reading through and editing a few things, I feel like I finally nailed this chapter. Doug was probably the hardest to write for.<p>

Anyway, sorry for the nine-month-long delay, I have absolutely no excuse.

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><p>The man I found in stasis struggled to get himself out of the stasis pod, his limbs probably a little achy from disuse. He had his arms situated behind himself, pushing his upper half up and pulling his rear and legs backward to free himself from the pod. He twisted around and shifted his weight side to side as he turned to the side of the pod-bed I was standing on and tossing his legs out to dangle a couple inches from the ground. He stumbled as he pushed forward from the bed, when I caught his arm and helped him stand he gave me an apologetic lopsided smile. The man seemed even stranger when he stood of his own accord: his scraggly black, with slivers of gray, hair sticking out crazily and heavily laden with sweat and grease, his clothes, that seemed pristine while he was in the pod, were actually peppered with pulled stitches, grease stains, tiny holes pinched in the material, and stains of what must have been some sort of drippy food. He even had a slight hunch and his head seemed to be at a slight tilt…to the left it seemed, or maybe it was because he was <em>staring right at me<em>.

"Wh-who are you?" I asked, leveling a glare at the strange man before me. He took a step back and smiled, almost proudly it seemed, his dirty hands shaking slightly as he clasped them in front of him.

"I just…I just can't believe it…" the man said, "After all this time, you really _did_ survive."

"WHO _ARE_ YOU?" I asked again, taking a step back and pointing the portal gun at his chest. His hands immediately flew into the air, the sleeves on his coat dropping around his spindly arms and his shirt comically lifting to reveal a bit of his stomach just as pale as his face. He wore a look of fear and surprise, causing my grip to falter.

"D-don't shoot!" He said, obviously knowing that I was indeed holding an actual threat and not some silly looking toy. "M-my name is Doug Rattmann. I am – er – was a uh, a scientist here at Aperture." When I narrowed my eyes and leveled the gun higher, towards his head, making him stutter and stammer. "I wasn't a sc-scientist that t-tested p-people! I j-just helped develop the technology!" I looked at the man for a while, watching his gaze shift from my face to the end of the gun and back as his body, which twitched and shook involuntarily. He looked to be telling the truth.

"Go on…" I prompted, allowing the gun to shift and point at his upper chest. It was still dangerous enough to get information out of the scraggly old man.

"I-I worked on the core project. D-do you know what that i-is?" I stared blankly at him. The strange man took a moment to take a few deep breaths and swallow nervously. "It's where we…where we have t-test subjects and volunteers…their memories, experiences, and p-personalities, implanted into a uh…a storage device. Specifically a core."

"Oh…_now_ I remember you." A digitized voice called out; it was GLaDOS. The man stiffened and glanced around in terror, taking a few scared steps back. After a moment, he looked at me, more specifically my portal gun, and moved to look at the potato on the end. I moved back again and leveled the gun back at his face. Rattmann immediately resumed being stiff and scared. "Ha! It seems you're still the pathetic little rat that eluded me all that time ago."

"Is-is that…a talking potato?" Rattmann asked me, clearly confused.

"It's _ME_ you idiot…oh, right, you probably didn't recognize me because _I'm a potato_. It's because of _her_-" Yeah, I know GLaDOS, it's all my fault, "-that the Intelligence Dampening Sphere in charge of the facility." GLaDOS explained, "We just spent the past fourteen hours trying to get back up from the old Aperture. And now we…what's wrong? Are you having a seizure? Or did you see a bird?" I lowered the gun and studied Rattmann, who was, indeed, shaking like a leaf, though I doubted it was because of a seizure.

"R-Rattm-mann?" I prompted, noting his erratic, and a little bit scary, behavior. I didn't know if it was an illness or shock, but this man was extremely odd, even by Aperture standards.

"Did…did you just say 'the Intelligence Dampening Sphere'…is _in charge_? _Of the whole facility_?" The poor man looked as though he would hyperventilate and pass out. Cautiously, I nodded, seeing as GLaDOS couldn't. He started shaking some more and his eyes darted around the tiny room, his head swiveling to aid his search. When he spotted his companion cube, he grabbed at the block and hefted it as quickly as he could out of the hibernation chamber. I gave chase after the man as he stumbled and ran down the hall, moving surprisingly quick for a malnourished, freshly-revived-from-cryo, scraggly old man.

He ran with a slight limp, but moved quickly enough for me to almost lose him twice in the chase. He ran along a labyrinth of hallways, mostly lined with doors almost entirely rotted out of their frames, and seemed to be frantically trying to regain his bearings in this time-forgotten facility. As I turned another corner, I found Rattmann quivering and frantically searching for a way out of this dead end. When I came to a stop, he whirled and looked at me like I was a ghost, or something equally terrifying, and clutched his companion cube as though it was the most precious thing in the world. Slowly, I set the portal gun, and consequently GLaDOS, on the ground by the entrance to the dead end and raised my hands in a calming gesture.

"Hey! What are you doing? Pick up the Portal Device this instant!" GLaDOS yelled. The last thing I wanted to do was scare this man to death.

"S-tay calm pl-please." I said calmly as I took a step to approach the terrified man, panting heavily from the sudden exercise. He whimpered and scooted further into the corner, making me pause and reconsider how to put sense in this old man. I sat down where I was, cross-legged, and waited for Rattmann to calm down. When he did, I asked "Why are y-you sc-scared?"

"The…the Intelligence Dampening Sphere…all of the personality cores…"Doug Rattmann said quietly as he stared down at his companion cube and absently stroked a corner of it. "They were never…_never_ meant to be…to be _in charge_ of this facility." My brow furrowed in confusion. Rattmann shuffled and eventually settled into a seated position like mine and cradled his cube as he continued to talk in broken sentences. "I…I built some of the cores. They…they were meant to make GLaDOS…"

"_Behave_?" The potato prompted behind me, "Well, I'd like to inform you that your plan didn't exactly work." Rattmann nodded solemnly and nibbled on the inside of his lower lip before continuing to explain.

"Y-Yes," he admitted, "but they were also programmed to…to take over for a short time…if GLaDOS ever needed repairs or…or reprogramming." He seemed to look everywhere in the dead end hallway but at GLaDOS and myself. "After an extended time, the mainframe overloads the core and things can…can get out of hand…" Almost as if on cue, the walls and floor shuddered as an explosion rattled and shook the facility, making Rattmann clutch at his cube like a lifeline. After a moment he looked at me, with scared eyes and asked, "How long did you say the Intelligence Dampening Sphere has been in charge?"

"F-fourteen hours." I said, a trickle of cold fear threading its way into the middle of my chest.

"Fourteen hours and twelve minutes." GLaDOS corrected.

"That's…no…no, the Intelligence Dampening Sphere was never, _ever_ intended to be a replacement core for GLaDOS." Rattmann said as he repeatedly petted one of the pink hearts on his cube. For reassurance more than anything else, I assumed. "It was built to be incompetent…to-to make the stupidest decisions of any of the spheres. To put it in charge…"

"I know where this is going." GLaDOS said, prompting Rattmann and myself to look at her, "The little moron's programming wasn't built to handle the system whatsoever, thus the system flooded his own processes and took over his programmed capabilities. With the Intelligence Dampening Sphere in command of the facility," I was getting really tired of hearing that designation, "everything will fall apart."

"Y-yes, it will all be…destroyed," Rattmann said, a strange hint of glee in his voice. Something tells me he was waiting for this place to be demolished a long, long time ago. "When prompted to perform an action, the Intelligence Dampening Sphere will choose, nine t-times out of ten, to ignore the prompt because its programming doesn't understand." Another shake racked the building and I knew there wasn't much time left before the facility would fall apart with us in it, or worse: blow up in a nuclear fireball with all of us in it. I gave Rattmann a stern look and stood.

"Can you t-take us to an ele…elev-vator?" I asked. He looked puzzled, then looked at his cube, whispered something to it, and waited, as if he was listening to his cube talk to him. He nodded a little, whispered a few rushed words, listened again for a moment, and finally sighed, hefting himself and his cube up. He gave me a cautious nod, cueing that I stand and grab the portal gun, and slowly made his way past me and along a few hallways we'd already run through. After walking for what felt like a mile, Rattmann rounded the last corner and glanced back at me nervously before nodding his head toward the hall. "This…this elevator will take you to the t-test chambers…I'm pretty sure." I turned the corner with him and I sighed in relief at the sight of an emancipation grille standing before the doorway of the lift chamber. I paused and looked at Doug Rattmann's cube sadly.

"D-Doug." I said, catching the man's attention, "I w-want to leave Apert-ture. Are the t-test cham…ch-chambers the only w-way out?" Rattmann blinked and then thought a moment, maybe considering air ducts, vertical pipe shafts, or maybe some other secret employee escape. After a nerve-wracking while, I could tell GLaDOS was itching to interrupt, Rattmann nodded his head and cradled his cube closer; evidently, he knew what would happen if he went through the grille with his cube.

"Well, it seems it's goodbye for now. Au revoir, adios, arrivederci." GLaDOS said; had she a body, I would be shuffled along through the grille, down the steps, and into the lift before anyone could say 'potato'. Taking the hint I nodded a farewell to the strange old man Rattmann and started walking towards the elevator. "Don't think I won't look for you as soon as I'm in charge again you little rat-faced-" I stopped GLaDOS with a shake of the portal gun and shuddered as I passed through the grille.

"G-good luck!" Rattmann stuttered, "You'll need it to negotiate with the Intelligence Dampening Sph-"

"Wheatley." I interrupted, quickly turning to look at my temporary guide. After he gave a confused look I said, "His n-name is Wh-Wheatley." He stared as I turned back around and stepped into the awaiting lift, the light in the chamber glowing softly as the potato-powered AI and I rose, hopefully, to a path to reach Wheatley. When the elevator slid to a stop, the doors slid open gracefully, releasing me to a set of stairs leading from the elevator chamber to an automatic door which opened to a metal walkway. I expected a test chamber, but maybe this walkway led to another test where I could hopefully get Wheatley to listen to reason. My boots clanked ominously as I walked along the path, the space oddly quiet and decidedly creepy. As I approached a turn on the right side of the darkened path, I jumped at the sound of a familiar voice.

"For God's sake, you're BOXES with LEGS! It's y-it's _literally_ your only purpose! Walking onto buttons! How can you not do the one thing you're designed for?" I hurried along the path and stopped at an observation booth overlooking a chamber filled with strange robotic merges of cubes and turrets. I ducked down at the sight of a familiar blue optic shown on a large monitor hanging from a wall of the chamber. I peeked around the desk I was hiding under and watched as Wheatley commanded the turret-cubes to continue the test while the turret-cubes themselves seemed to scrabble around the chamber aimlessly, going everywhere except on the bright red button.

"Try to get us down there." GLaDOS said, her voice hushed to keep Wheatley from hearing us, "I really don't care how, I'll hit him with a paradox and we'll take it from there." Really GLaDOS? _We'll_ take it from there? I hope I didn't make a bad decision by partnering with the talking spud. I turned back to watch the chamber, and Wheatley, to see if there was a doorway into the room.

"Warmer. Warrrmer." Wheatley coaxed as a turret-cube came perilously close to the button, "Boiling hot. Boiling-okay, colder. Ice cold. You're, you're Arctic now." Looks like the turret decided to keep on crawling by the button. "This-you're, you're very cold now. Very very very cold. Look just GET ON THE BUTTON!" I sighed and shook my head, looking around the observation room to find a way-hello! Broken vent. I fired a blue portal through the opening to a portal-compatible wall on the other side and fired an orange portal onto the wall on my right. Looking through, I saw the blue portal would let me land safely on another walkway.

"Little idiot can't even figure out how to make robotic boxes solve a test." GlaDOS huffed quietly.

"Oh, that's funny is it? Oh it's funny? Because we've been at this for twelve hours and you haven't solved it either, so I don't know why you're laughing. You've got one hour, SOLVE IT." Said a power-mad, and maybe a little desperate, Wheatley; I couldn't see the inside of the chamber, but I imagined Wheatley was wheeling around and waving his plates around wildly in the chassis, trying to incite fearful obedience in his mutant robotic creations. The place shuddered after a sudden small, in comparison, explosion as I hurried along the path and stepped into an old elevator. The lift moved achingly slow and once the door opened, I hurried along the walkway to a hole in the upper part of a small chamber that I hoped would lead to the test chamber I looked at moments ago. I hopped down and the door behind an emancipation grille opened. I took a calming breath and stepped forward into the chamber pointing the portal gun at a nearby turret-cube, prepared to grab the abomination and throw it into the others. After a moment of no bullets and the turret eyes, since two turrets had been fused to the cube, staring plaintively up at me, I lowered the gun and the turret-cube chittered at me and rubbed affectionately against my leg.

'God, this place is weird.' I thought as the Frankenstein-like creation hobbled off to wander the limited chamber space. I shook my head and looked to GLaDOS for further instruction.

"Solve this puzzle for him." Not really much of a puzzle GLaDOS, "When he comes back, I'll hit him with a paradox." I nodded and grabbed a turret-cube (maybe Franken-turret would be a better name?) with the portal gun and carried the strangely cute robot-cube over to the red button and gently set the cube down. I jumped as Wheatley made a sudden reappearance on the screen.

"Ha ha! Yes! I knew you'd solve it!" Then his optic lids slid apart and gave his shell a surprised look. Something tells me he didn't expect GLaDOS and myself again, alive at least.

"Hey! Moron!" Oh GLaDOS, quit it with the moron stuff.

"Oh. Hello." Wheatley said, his surprise vanished and was replaced by casual indifference…at least as best as I could see. Wheatley was expressive, but he didn't have quite the same expressiveness of an actual human face.

"Alright, paradox time." GLaDOS whispered before shouting as loud as her tiny speaker would allow: "Tis. Sentence. Is. FALSE don't think about it, don't think about it, don'tthinkaboutit…"

"Um. 'TRUE'. I'll go 'true'." …what? "Huh. That was easy. I'll be honest, I might've heard that one before though. Sort of cheating"

"It's a _paradox_! There IS no answer!" GLaDOS shouted. Apparently, she only bothered to remember one paradox without considering others…then again, considering others might have caused her to explode by thinking about the paradoxes too much. Looking around at the now fizzling and sparking Franken-turrets, I figured GLaDOS exploding wasn't that far a stretch of the imagination. "Look! This place is going to blow up if I don't get back in my body!"

"Ahhhhh. 'FALSE'. I'll go 'false'." Oh Wheatley…why must you be so stupid?

"Explosion imminent. Evacuate the facility immediately." It was that announcing voice again.

"Hold on. I thought I'd fixed that." Wheatley said, disappearing from the monitor for a moment.

"Warning. Reactor core is at critical tptchcpture…" The voice phased out, though I was fairly sure the voice intended to say "temperature", and that did not bode well for the facility.

"There. Fixed." No Wheatley, not fixed. "Hey, it is GREAT seeing you guys again. Seriously. Um, it turns out I'm a little bit short on test subjects right now. So this works out PERFECT." Well, at least he was glad to see us, not into murdering GLaDOS or myself immediately after we reappear. "Anyway, off we go!" Wheatley said, opening the exit and allowing me to travel on to the next chamber. I sighed and looked at GLaDOS with a frown.

"That went w-well." I said, walking from the chamber, through an emancipation grille and along another metal walkway, assumedly onto another test. The potato growled at me a little and fell silent, knowing she had dramatically failed to incapacitate Wheatley as planned. I huffed as Wheatley ushered me to the test chamber, wishing I had taken the time to memorize a paradox or two before coming back to the test chambers. Who knows, maybe Doug Rattmann had a paradox or two up his sleeve. Too bad we'll never know.

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><p>Alright, I believe I promised earlier that I would rewrite chapter fourteen.<p>

I'm working on it as you read and, odds are, by the time you finish reading this chapter, I'll have fourteen all ready for you.

Again, sorry for the delay. No excuses for me. I'll try to finish things up for this story within the next month(s).


	14. Chapter 14

That's What I'm Counting On – 14 – Rewritten

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><p>I just wanted to thank all the new followers for this story. It's you guys who have inspired me to keep working on it. Who knows, maybe I'll go back and finish all my other stories as well.<p>

…okay, that's a little optimistic. Let's see how things go.

I completely revamped everything from the first time I wrote this. This version is much more cohesive.

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><p>If there is anything I wished I could forget, I would wish I could forget this "Itch" that Wheatley says he has when he tests. By the way he described it, and the <em>noises<em> he made after I finished the test…yes, I would definitely like to forget this Itch thing and get Wheatley out of that chassis before everything falls apart. The elevator drifted to a stop and the doors slid open to the start of another test.

"It shouldn't be hard to stay alive long enough to find him." GLaDOS said quietly. Whether it was to reassure me or herself, I didn't know, but it was nice to have some vote of confidence on my side. Passing through the door separating the elevator chamber from the test chamber, the test screen flickered to life. Test 01…well, at least it wasn't quite the same as the other "Test 01" chambers.

"It's alright, everything's good. I just invented some more tests." Wheatley said, watching us from his huge monitor in a corner of the room.

"This is one of MY tests!" GLaDOS said angrily. I took the time to study the mostly white test chamber as the two AIs exchanged.

"Not entirely. Not entirely." Said Wheatley as I looked up, spotting a button on the ceiling in this room and a hole to an above chamber. "Look at the word 'test' there, on the wall. That's brand new." As he spoke some of the smaller panels flipped from black to white, assembled to show the word 'test' as Wheatley had described. I let out a huff of air and stepped forward to study the swirling blue column of light in the middle of the room; I took a cautious step into the beam and found myself immediately floating upward. Startled, I moved to escape the beam and landed on the floor outside of the beam to gather my bearings.

"What's wrong with you?" GLaDOS asked mockingly.

"Never seen th-these…b-beam things before." I answered, looking angrily at the talking tuber.

"Ah, that's right. I never had the chance to introduce you to these…before you killed me and put that little moron in charge of everything that is." It was irritating how casual and how much of a jackass GLaDOS could be in such a life-or-death, the-facility-is-about-to-explode-so-we-need-to-test-like-crazy-to-stay-alive situation. "These are Excursion Tunnels. It works a lot like when you pick up a Weighted Storage Cube with the Handheld Portal Device, except it pushes whatever is in it in a specific direction." Well, that could be incredibly handy. I stepped back into the beam and floated awkwardly in the tunnel as I was carried into the upper half of the test chamber. I looked around and spotted a franken-turret on a ledge, a white portal surface on the opposite wall. I turned clumsily in the beam (it was like moving in water, only thicker) and placed an orange portal on the wall opposite the turret and a blue portal on the ceiling above me. Just like everything else, the beam carried on through the portals and now carried me horizontally towards the ledge.

"Oh, look at you!" Wheatley started, "You're about as graceful as a bird in syrup!" If that was supposed to be a cute comment, it wasn't any comment I would care to hear. He was right though, I considered as I stumbled out of the beam, collected the mutant turret with the portal gun and carried it to the floor of the upper half of the chamber. I was not at all comfortable with the excursion tunnel. When I put the turret on the ground, its legs sprang out and it started to hop away, not quick enough to escape and keep me from flipping the cube onto its back, the spindly legs flailing helplessly in the air. I aimed and placed the orange portal on the checker-patterned panel beneath the big red button and then placed the turret-cube into the excursion tunnel. I watched as it sailed upward in the beam and through the blue portal before looking downward to watch the turret continue to rise and press into the red button.

"_Ahhhohohhhh_…_wow_…well done, seriously, both of you." Oh my word, this is so embarrassing, "Why don't I-why don't you two go on ahead? Yeah? And I'll just-I'll just catch up with you." If only I had the ability to forget what just happened. My face was flushed red and I screwed my eyes shut as I quickly moved out of the test chamber and into the next elevator. I sat myself on the ground and groaned in embarrassment, oh if only I _could_ make myself forget, and proceeded to repeatedly bang the back of my head against the wall of the elevator.

"Okay," GLaDOS said, thankfully distracting me, "so the bad news is that the tests are MY tests now. So they can kill us. The god news is…well, none so far, to be honest." Now isn't that a comforting thought? "I'll get back to you on that." I nodded as the elevator took an unusually long trip upward and then seemed to suddenly ease to a stop outside another test. I suppose if I ever get out of here, I can look forward to never mindlessly solving these kinds of tests again. When the doors slid open, I stood up again and walked towards the test chamber. "You know, I'd love to help you solve the tests. But I can't."

"Why n-not?" I asked as the door unsealed and opened.

"Sorry, I honestly can't. You're on your own." Oh well, it's not like I hadn't been on my own _the entire time _I've been here. On entering the chamber, I walked to the edge of the cliff of an entrance and looked around.

"Yeah…made this test myself." Wheatley said proudly, "Out of smaller tests. That I found. Lying around. Jammed 'em all together. Buttons, got funnels, bottomless pits are involved. It's got it all, it's got it all, absolutely dynamite." About the only thing I didn't like was that there was no floor, the whole 'bottomless pit' thing lost my favor when he plunged GLaDOS and myself into that elevator shaft. With a heavy sigh, I took a tentative jump into the excursion tunnel beneath me, fired a blue portal at the top of the white panel to my right and an orange portal at the wall that was originally behind me. I drifted, almost serenely, through the portals and shot the blue portal at a white wall to the right, a little below my position. I dropped for a fraction of a second, but it was more than enough to spike my adrenaline. The tunnel then carried me to the opposite wall, where there was a checkered panel beneath me, and fired the blue portal at the small space of floor. "Alright, okay, this is taking too long. Okay?" Excuse me Wheatley, but these tunnels aren't the fastest way to solving a test. "I'll just-I'll just tell you how to solve this test, okay? You see that button over there? Alright?" I looked to my right as I floated up and stepped onto the next ledge that held, as Wheatley described, a small red button on its traditional white stand. "Anyway, all you have to do is pu-AAAAUURRGHH." I jumped as Wheatley was horridly shocked when he tried telling me how to solve the test.

"And that's why I can't help you solve these tests." GLaDOS added as Wheatley, for some reason or another, started 'panting' to catch his 'breath.'

"Nevermind. Nevermind. Solve it yourself. You're on your own." Why on earth are robotic creations programmed to simulate exhaustion, pain…ugh…_pleasure_…and fear? According to the awards and news clippings from the old underground Aperture, this place was once built for making shower…I don't know, was it curtains? Curtains to robots. I don't see the connection between the two. Shaking my head to refocus, I pressed the button and a franken-turret was released from a tube and dropped into the abyss. Oops. I placed the blue portal on the wall beneath where the turret would appear and pressed the button again, this time catching the turret-cube in the excursion tunnel. When the cretin was above the checkered panel, I fired the blue portal beneath it again and it drifted upward. I caught the turret with the portal gun and pulled it free of the tunnel and looked around for the next part: a big red button that would open the door. On the ceiling, again. I put the turret-cube under the button, face down this time, and put a blue portal under it, making it float up to the button and- "Ohhh yes! Well done…" LA LA LA WHEATLEY. I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

"Thanks. All we had to do was pull that lever." GLaDOS said, confusing me. I traipsed along the walkway to the exit as she spoke.

"What? Well, no you pushed the buAAAGGGHHHH!" Wheatley was shocked again and I looked back at him worriedly, my little potato companion laughing evilly all the while.

"I know we're in a lot of trouble and probably about to die, but that was worth it." What an evil, _**evil**_ little spud! For a moment, I completely forgot why I was helping her, only to be reminded a second later by a harsh shudder that the facility was probably one to two hours from completely combusting. I considered my options as I stepped into the elevator and was lifted towards the next test. One: I let Wheatley stay in charge and we all die in a fiery explosion, my almost-forgotten ally Doug included. Two: I put GLaDOS in charge and run the risk of immediately dying, being forced to test until I died, or, in the slimmest possibility of all, being set free into the world. And then there was my last option: decapitate myself and attempt to take charge of the facility…how that was supposed to happen, I wasn't sure. Why was my nice, simple, supposedly easy plan of escape such a complex endeavor?

* * *

><p>Well, this was not looking good. Wheatley was not getting his uh…whatever he was getting after his tests get solved and he was becoming progressively more frustrated by not getting his 'fix.' It also doesn't help that GLaDOS keeps ticking him off by calling him a moron.<p>

"I might have pushed that 'moron' thing a little too far this time." GLaDOS admitted as the elevator brought us higher and higher, closer to the surface and hopefully closer to Wheatley and escape.

"Gee, you th-think?" I asked sarcastically, not at all pleased with GLaDOS's smarmy attitude. If she weren't so important to my freedom and my general pride of being the only member of the 'Staying Alive Club,' I would have made a meal of her or tossed her as far away as I could into one of these several bottomless pits. Most likely I'd do the latter before considering the former.

"Hey! Don't look at me like that." Considering she was no threat to me here, I proceeded to shake the portal gun quickly and erratically. "GAH! Stop it! Please! You'll knock these plugs loose! I'll short out! Or completely shut down!" I obliged the panicked spud and huffed down at her as the elevator slowed and came to a stop at yet another test chamber…but, there was something different this time. "Ohhhh, now he's playing classical music." Indeed, the sounds of the tinny, elegant notes of the harpsichord poured out from the test chamber into the elevator chamber. When I entered, the test chamber screen came to life and revealed how little progress I'd actually made: we were at test chamber 05 out of who knows how many. At the very loud sound of a page being turned, I whirled to the right and stared out at the spacious chamber, Wheatley's white hull and blue optic glaring brightly on the black monitor on the right side of the chamber.

"Oh! Sorry, sorry, sorry. Hope that didn't-ha-hope that didn't disturb you too much then. That was the sound of books, pages being turned." Wheatley explained nonchalantly. "So that's just what I was doing. I was just reading ah…books. So I'm not a moron." The last part he said almost under his breath, which was quickly covered by "Anyway, just-just finished the last one. The hardest one. Machiavelli." Oh Wheatley, pretending to be smart by listening to classical music and reading a bunch of books won't change anything. At least not right away. Given a year or two, a whole lot of reading can really help; not sure about the music though. "Do not know what all the fuss was about. Understood it perfectly. Have you read that one?"

"Yes." GLaDOS muttered, I hadn't so…I decided to keep quiet as usual.

"Yeah, doubt it." Wheatley said, speaking over the potato AI. "Well, on with the test." I sighed and shook my head, stepping further into the chamber, blasting a blue portal at the end of the excursion tunnel to the left, an orange portal on the white floor panel between the two Aerial Faith Plates, and then confidently stepped into the faith plate in front of me. I sailed through the air for a moment, but was then caught in the excursion tunnel and lifted up until my back hit the ceiling. I aimed carefully and then shot an orange portal onto the angled plate to my right, dropping a considerable distance, though the portals, and then through the air to land on the ledge with the big red button.

'I'm surprised how easy this test is.' I thought as I placed the orange portal back in the path of the excursion tunnel, placing a column of blue in between the faith plates again. 'Usually things get quite a bit harder as I go along, but this only seems to be getting easier…if a little risky.' I pushed the small red button and released a turret-cube that bounced from the faith plate into the blue tunnel. I aimed the orange portal in the same place as I did to launch myself to this ledge and the cube dropped through the portals and…smack into Wheatley's monitor.

"Aww…bless your little primate brain." Primate? "I'm not actually in the room with you. Am I? Technology, it's complicated. Uh, you can't hurt the big ol' God face." I fixed myself a sour face, glared up at the big-headed AI and flipped him off before picking up the turret-cube and dropping it unceremoniously onto the button. "Augh! Now what was that about? Did-did you mess with the test somehow? That was nothing! That was nothing!"

"The body he's squatting in – MY body – has a built in euphoric response to testing. Eventually you build up a resistance to it, and it can get a little…unbearable." Well GLaDOS, thanks for filling me in, but I already kinda figured that the first time he made those _noises_. "Unless you have the mental capacity to push past it, of course. It didn't matter to me, I was in it for the science. Him, though…" Oh dear…it's like an addiction for him. Not only is he too…well…too stupid to push past it like GLaDOS, but I'm willing to bet it's the most positive experience Wheatley had ever had in the facility. It makes sense why he would try again and again to get at the euphoric response. It seems I've gotten so used to this process, I mindlessly walked to the elevator and entered, letting the door slide shut behind me and the lift carry me up and up again.

"How do we st-stop him?" I asked, more to myself than GLaDOS. I couldn't think past the obvious options, it would be impossible at this point to do the more detailed work of shutting down programs. I'm not well versed in computer processes and…wait a minute. I have GLaDOS. She could walk me through what I need to do. "G-GLaDOS…is there a c-contr-rol room?"

"What are you-? Oh, I see." The AI said, figuring I had some sort of plan. "Unfortunately no, I uh…smashed that room while you and that moron ruined the turrets and destroyed the neurotoxin generator. It was a failsafe, just in case you and that idiot managed to find it." Well crap, now what do we do? "The thing is, If he's not getting his solution euphoria, we could be in a lot of trouble." I sighed and nodded, the elevator once again coasting to a stop. I paused outside the elevator shaft and stared at the ominous blue screens surrounding the lift. There was an error with the nuclear emissions system, it was probably shut. So Wheatley was going to have us all killed because he didn't understand that he needed to press a key to make this process resume proper operation. Any key. Any key at all. And he didn't understand that all his problems would be fixed by pressing one measly key.

'I…how…how did Aperture _build_ such a _moron_?' It just doesn't seem possible.

* * *

><p>I'll also say that replaying Portal and Portal 2 helped kick my butt back into writing. I got new ideas and remembered old ones and tossed out the worst of them all, keeping a few ideas for the future.<p>

Ah, the methods of inspiration and enacting on that inspiration.

Anyway, please leave a review. I welcome any constructive criticism.


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